I'm jealous of this one girl I go to school with. Everyone seems to like her. Someone who I know just as well as she does gave the girl a hug and was happy to see her, but pushed past me as if I wasn't even there. These are the times where I'm convinced that if I killed myself, no one would miss me.
People at my math table were talking about cutting. It made me really triggered so I sat on the floor at my friends feet. They were saying how people who cut just do it for attention and how they're stupid and should just kill themselves and get it over with. I don't understand how people can be so incredibly stupid. If we were really doing it for attention we would do it in front of people and tell everyone we meet. Instead, we do it in secret, we wear long sleeves to cover it up, and we tell maybe a few people just to lighten the load. They kept talking about how we just sit there unscrewing our pencil sharpeners to cut ourselves and how they don't understand how anyone could be dumb enough to purposely cut themselves. They also said that people who cut belong in a mental hospital.
Here's a little poem thing (I guess.?) I wrote:
On the outside, she is tired. Smiling occasionally, talking when talked to, but otherwise quiet. On the inside, she's crying. Her heart is breaking, she's drowning, and she's screaming out for someone to help save her. She wants to feel safe, loved, and like she'd be missed if she ended her life.
YOU ARE READING
It gets better
ContoA story in diary form of a girl struggling with her self worth.
