i've seen the bruises, but i stayed quiet.
he asked me if i was alright, i stayed quiet.
"they'll get you on anti-depressants," i stayed quiet.
"i love you," he said. i once again, stayed quiet.
every time my mother showed her arms or wore shorts, i saw bruises along them. now, her still being single and not going anywhere else but to work (which was at an insurance company), i almost was going to question it.
i was wondering if she maybe got abused by a boyfriend she's had but, she's single. i don't remember the last time a guy came to our house with her, which is unusual since i remember most of her boyfriends. i maybe have lost count of one or two, but that doesn't quite matter.
"what are those marks on your legs?" she once asked when we were driving out to get tea and my shorts accidentally climbed up my thigh.
"oh those are from the rabbit, lucky, you know how long his nails are, right mom? i shook the treat bag and he jumped on the couch like he always does, and then he jumped on me because he's impatient, you know all this. yeah that's basically it."
she slightly hesitated as a red light came up, "changkyun, you aren't hurting yourself again are you?"
i stayed quiet, content with my first answer.
lying was getting scarily easy for me. i could come up with one in the matter of seconds, i could suddenly pull a poker face, i could look directly in somebody's eye and tell a lie without showing any emotions. i lie to myself all the time, but i never believe me.
she nodded and smiled, "okay, as long as you're okay."
i continued to stay quiet for the rest of the car ride as my music softly played in my ear, "underneath all this truth is that i really feel like shit, i'm so sick of bein' tired, i'm so tired of bein' sick."
a/n hello author speaking,,, it'd be nice if u pointed out if i have a typing mistake or somethin but be nice bc i have a soul thanks
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