i've seen the bruises, but i stayed quiet.
he asked me if i was alright, i stayed quiet.
"they'll get you on anti-depressants," i stayed quiet.
"i love you," he said. i once again, stayed quiet.
i can remember last night like it was the back of my hand, it was amazing— more than that, actually, it was beautiful and compassionate. our bodies molded together like clay, and when the sun's stunning rays flew up into the clouds under all of the lusting we did; we were dead.
both of us.
the night was ethereal. i could replay it over and over in my mind a million times, and i'd still want more.
i can remember the way he gripped my ass so tightly, his husky whispers dusting my ear.
his hands grabbing chunks of my thighs as he carried me to my bedroom; our lips stayed locked.
i can feel the warmth of his lips on my neck when he said, "i love you." like a broken record.
it was my first time.
i remember slowly going down on him, whimpering and clawing at his chest and back. him bringing himself up to go further and further.
"i fucking love you kihyun." my breaths always got interrupted by quick pants and screeches of pleasure.
my thighs needily clenched around his waist, with my hands in his hair and his arms around my back as we kissed. his lips never left my body that night. he marked every part of my body with the sparkle of no regrets in his starry eyes.
kihyun was my first everything, my first love, my first kiss, the first making of love, and my first heartbreak. kihyun hasn't broken my heart but it just shatters, and shatters. and it will continue to shatter as long as i know he won't accept fully loving me.
even though he's repeated the three words a hundred times, there's something missing. last night it could have been lust. other times pity— it could be that he's just in a mood. he'll only love me if there's something else to it. he loves me at the very tip of his tongue before it sensually licks my lips and gets shoved in my throat.
but, i loved it. i love kihyun and i took advantage of the fact that he doesn't fully love me. this was a beautiful love making, a beautiful movie, film, this was a beautiful song. our story and the words that flow alongside it are filled with worry, anger, lust, and love. and the moment of truth, the part where both of our brains shut down and our mind and body goes into pure bliss, it's almost the end.
and when the sun rose, it's when the tears fell. i didn't know why i was crying, he didn't ask me. instead he just held me. i was still on him, but it wasn't for lust. i wanted to be close to him, so fucking close. he held my heart in his hands, he carefully caressed and sung it to sleep. letting his silky voice to tie around it and never let go. it engraved into the soul of an angel. the soul of the moon and beautiful stars the accompany it.
a/n this is a nice chap, i also rly like this song and it's been stuck in my head so ):<
