12:01 (Sequel to Midnight Man)

chapter eighteen/my name is tyler, that's all i know

(tylers pov)

i live from bus station to bus station. the money i have in my wallet is enough to get me to detroit, michigan. from there, i have nothing left.

i locate homeless shelter after homeless shelter. i'm over eighteen, so no one has to be called about me. i don't even have to put down my real name. tyler joseph was never in michigan. jack barakat was.

it's stupid, really. tossing jack's name onto paper after paper. he's presumed dead after being reportedly spotted at the library party. and he is dead, but no one knows that. the switch up with identification makes sure of it. still, i look over my shoulder. i tune in to columbus news broadcasts, making sure the tyler joseph case is closed shut. i make sure that jack barakat is still dead, and not a missing person.

i cover my tracks. no one knows i'm alive. no one can know. i'm a criminal in the eyes of the law. even more so now, for identify theft. i don't purchase things if i haven't already stolen cash for them. even then, i keep big-ticket items to a minimum; the only thing i drop any real cash on is food. and water, when i can't find any gas stations to steal from.

gas stations.

they remind me of josh. i never stop thinking about him. on lonely nights, i touch myself to the thought of him. his buffed torso, his strong arms. i think of the way he'd watch me sliding him can after can of soda, sometimes too preoccupied in my gaze to notice me stealing candy bars under the counter.

i underestimated him.

i underestimated how much he'd matter to me. i fell in love. something psychopaths don't do. i think he turned something off in me. or he began a glitch that spread until the entire system broke down.  where blurry used to consume my thoughts, my feelings, and protected me from everything, josh began to take hold. he hacked the firewall to my heart, forcing guilt and happiness inside my darkest places. apathy was my greatest strength; it stood no match against josh, my greatest weakness.

the longer i knew josh, the less my blurryface was around. which scared me. blurry had been with me since childhood. he was the darkest part of me, but also the strongest. he may live in my head, but not listening to him was out of the question. until josh made me fight him.

blurry shared my obsession with josh, but in all the wrong ways. where i wanted a life, he wanted a death. he demanded me to kill josh. he loved him too, but he didn't love the life he gave. he idealized the way his pretty face would look, eyes glazed over and blood drained from his face. he haunted me at night, causing nightmare after nightmare.

until he went away.

i was ecstatic. i walked into my apartment for the first time, blurry free. i didn't know how long it would last. i knew i wanted to marry josh immediately. before we lost anymore time. that way, i could fight blurry off better. i could just look at the ring on josh's finger and blurry wouldn't argue. josh and i could start a life. a real one.

but i wasn't stupid. i knew he wouldn't go off with me, and just leave behind his friends. i also knew he was losing trust for me. or, feeling something differently. he was distant. so i just made a promise. a promise we'd be together some day.

but as i pulled up to the celebration party we threw, and i found him thrusting into that blue haired girl, i felt blurry wake back up. i watched josh get off with this girl from a distance, blurry bubbling inside me. he spit nasty words at me, insisting josh didn't love me. of course he loved me. but why was he with her? blurry went away again, once we watched josh take out a dagger and stab her in the heart. i blinked at him then, not quite sure what to do.

my josh wasn't a killer, i didn't think. i didn't really know what to think. there wasn't a reason to kill that girl. there are very few reasons to kill anyone, but i hadn't even seen her before. josh was acting strange.