More than friends

Not good enough

Jade's POV
We have an interview early this morning and the practice for the tour is in two days. Me and Lesy are up and they decided I have to wake up. I walk over to the side of her bed she is sleeping on. Last night I wanted to cuddle her as she cried but she wants to be by herself so I sat by her all night and ended up falling asleep. She looks like a baby when she sleeps, her hair sprawled out everywhere. I love it all her hair in front of her face trying not to wake her. I kiss her forehead hoping it would wake her, she stirs and I kiss her cheek then her nose I know she's waking up because she scrunched up her nose. Her eyes start to open slowly, "sorry to wake you princess but we have to get dressed for the interview" I whisper. She looks at me with teary eyes, "are you okay" I ask afraid she is gonna cry again. She shakes her head no, and a tear falls down her face. "Pez" Jesy said as her and Leigh-Anne come and sit trying to comfort the crying blonde.

We arrive at the interview a little late since Perrie had a breakdown but they didn't care so we went through the interview until the woman asked a death defying question, "Perrie how are you doing" it may not seems like a bad question but Perrie froze in her spot looking at the ground when she looks at me with teary eyes, "can we move on to another question" I ask politely. She nods saying she's sorry for bringing it up, Perrie was silent till we had to perform good enough I don't know why they chose to do this song but we all watched Perrie the whole time. "Am I still not good enough am I still not worth that much I'm sorry for the way my life turned out sorry for the smile I'm wearing now guess I'm still not good enough" I sing looking into Perrie's eyes. At the end she walks off the stage and we thank everyone as I follow Perrie. She is nowhere to be found when I hear crying coming from the dressing room. I open the door quietly to see Pez sitting in the corner crying I run over to her and comfort her. "I'm never good enough" she says. "Your more than good enough Pez, your too good your amazingly beautiful inside and out your heart is just full of love, everything about you is awesome your voice is outstanding your body is banging even the smallest thing on you is amazing your eyes I feel like everytime I look into them I drown in your love. Your cute little dimple and how when you smile hard you squint. The way you get concentrated on one thing and you become incredibly focused. How your smile can light up the room. Just because you don't see the beauty in your self doesn't mean it isn't there Pez. How you care for everyone, like those kids we saw who were helpless, you can see the sorrow and pain in your eyes. Anybody would be a fool to let you go" I tell her hoping it cheers her up. She smiles looking up at me I look into her eyes and slowly lean in closing my eyes for a second before the door opens and I'm mad because now I cant kiss her like I wanted to. I turn to see Leigh and Jesy I give her a death glare and help Perrie up. "Jade can I talk to you" says Jess. I kiss Perrie's cheek making her blush and follow Jesy into a private room. "What" I ask confused and mad she made me not able to kiss the only girl I want to kiss. "I heard your speech" she says I blush and look down I was hoping no one would hear but Pez. "You love her don't you" she asks I look into her eyes. "More than you know it kills me when she cries and I can't kiss her, how when she pouts I want to kiss that away, how I want to wrap her in my arms and shield her from all the hurt and pain in the world. But I can't because she doesn't feel the same way" I look down sad. "Jade you don't know that" Jesy says trying to make me feel better. But I doesn't work I know she doesn't like me like that. "I love her but she will never know" with that I walk out the room and into the car not caring the paps are following us.

We change and get ready for practice we are warming up and playing around in the mirror when Pez starts twerking and I grab her hips grinding against her I start laughing and move away. The back up dancers walk in and Perrie runs to Claudimar and hugs him. I frown she will never like me like that no one would. "Girls lets go" we decide to do grown and it pissed me off how sexual the dance is and Perrie is always messing around with Claud making me so jealous. The music starts and as we get to the twerking part I see Claudimar smacking Perrie's ass and i breath and count to ten so I don't pounce on him. We practice move, black magic, hair, touch, no more sad songs, and shout out to my ex since the rest are slow and don't need practice besides vocal warmups. Secret love song, little me and good enough. After a couple of hours we chill as the guys go get us food. I'm on my phone laying on the ground when Jesy comes up and over by me. "How you doing" she ask I guess she sensed my bad mood. "I guess okay I'm just so tired of not being able to say how I feel" I whisper, the camera guys are on break but I want to be safe. "Maybe you just should because eventually it's gonna kill you" I nod knowing one day I won't be able to contain it anymore.

We go to the hotel by the arena and we all decided on one room, cause we just cant get enough of each other. I spoon Perrie and in the middle of the night she shifts and turns in my arms facing me. I wake up to see her eyes still closed I watch her closely. Something is wrong as she tries to move closer to me. Leigh and Jesy are sleeping next to me so there isn't much room for me too move. "Babe wake up" I shake her shoulder. She stirs as I see tears streaming down her face I lean over and turn the lamp light on. "Pez wake up" I say a little louder. Her eyes open slowly and she looks at me in fear. What's going on.

1184 words