Sing Me To Sleep

Chapter 29

I don't go back to sleep right away. My mind is spinning, pounding against the walls of my skull and demanding I focus on more important things than repose.

Not long after Gerard flees from the study, I follow. I take the increasingly familiar steps down the narrow hall, straight past the occupied rooms until I come face to face with my own door. I stop outside, my eyes grazing over the smooth wooden features. No sign. Perhaps I should make one, maybe a warning for others to 'keep the fuck out' like Bert and Jepha or just a simple drawing like Gerard. Though really there's nothing simple about it.

I turn on my heels at the thought and examine the door across from my own. It's hard to see in the dark, but I can make out the sharp outline of the drawings form. Mother War. I take an involuntary step forward, feeling drawn to not only the image but the boy who lies behind the doors barrier. I should knock; I should apologize for whatever I said that make him leave so quickly. But there's only one problem; I have no idea what I said that made him upset.

A faint noise breaks through the silence and my ears instantly perk up. I lean closer to the closed door and listen intently. Yeah, the sound is definitely coming from in there...

I place a single hand flat against the wood and rest my ear on the door. Stifled through the barrier, I hear a sound that makes my heart wrench. Heavy breaths are hindered with near silent sobs. Is Gerard crying? 

I inhale sharply and swallow down the lump that rises in my throat. Closing my eyes, I listen to the pitiful sound. It's muffled, but not only due to the door that separates us. I think he has his face buried in a pillow. He's trying to be quiet.

I bite back every irrational instinct that wants to barge into the room and comfort the other boy, forcing myself to turn around and go back into my own bedroom.

When the door is shut tightly, I fall back onto my bed. The light is still off, allowing the darkness to absorb me. It feels familiar to have nothing but vast blackness blanketing my body, swallowing me whole with it's neverending shadows. I sigh contently and let my eyes drift closed. I think I doze off because suddenly the darkness is gone and I'm surrounded again by empty white walls. 

Abandoned gurneys litter the hall and fluorescent lights flicker eerily overhead. Casting a nervous glance around, I take a hesitant step forward. "Hello?" I call out. My voice echoes from the hospital walls, sounding too loud, and I cringe away from the noise. My heart pounds steadily in my ears, faster than normal with the panic I feel inching it's way into the pit of my stomach.

The lights flicker off completely, covering me in shadows for only a moment, before flaring brighter again. It feels burning on my back and I force my feet to carry me forward, though it's only a step.

How did I get here? Is this a dream?

I try to calm my breathing, repeating those words in my head like a mantra; This is only a dream. I will wake up. I ball my hand into a fist, digging my fingernails into the palm of my hand and willing some pain to jerk me into consciousness, but nothing happens. My hand stings where the skin is now broken, but I don't stop.

This is just a dream...

Then why can't I wake up? 

I close my eyes tightly and my jaw clenches. I taste iron in my mouth when my teeth nick the inside of my cheek, small drops of blood gathering on my tongue. I swallow them down with the fear and force another tiny step. With my eyes closed, I can see nothing, but the presence that settles over the dream has my eyes shooting open within only a second. I can feel him near me.

My eyes dart around the vacant hallway before landing on him; The slim figure that seems both familiar and foreign at once, drawing me closer and yet warning me away. My breathing hitches at the vague memories that flood with seeing the boy; His black marching band jacket is as neat and pressed as ever. The white attachments glint under the flickering lights, his short hair matching in color near perfectly. Pale white and stark black facepaint covers his sharp features creating the mask of a skeleton though his piercing hazel eyes are far from dead.

The skeleton boy...

I stagger forward a step, managing to trip over my own feet. I wait for the pain of my face colliding with the cold tile floor, but feel warm arms embrace me instead. I look up, wide eyed, at the skeleton boy who grins down at me.

"I remember you..." I mumble. My thoughts are faint and the pounding in my ears is making it hard to think straight, but the memories collide like a car crash in my mind, bursting into flames and igniting some distant feeling.

This is the skeleton boy who visited me in my coma. This is my angel.

This is who sang me to sleep. 

"Who are you?" I demand. His features are blurry, constantly changing in a way that I can't tell who the man behind the disguise is. But I have to know.

The skeleton boy smiles again, his arms still wrapped around me like a shield. "I'll be right beside you," He whispers. His breath hits my face and sends chills down my spine, a sense of longing following close behind. "I'll always be right here."

The skeleton boy leans closer, his heat surrounding me and making me feel utterly serene. I allow my eyes to close again. His lips hover just above mine as my fingers grip the stiff fabric, pulling him closer. I want him. I need to feel his mouth against mine, his hands on my skin. I need him. 

But before the contact can send a wave of pleasure through my body, I'm once again brought back into the darkness of my bedroom. My hands are knotted in the sheets beneath me, clothes sticking uncomfortably to my skin with sweat. I sigh, disappointment and longing surging through me.

I push myself off of the mattress, standing up and flicking on the lightswitch. I ignore the burning in my eyes at the sudden brightness as my pupils shrink back to a normal size and ruffle through my belongings until I find what it is I'm looking for.

The hospitals visitor logs are crumpled and out of order by this point, but I don't care. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for, this time having no name to go on other than that of a dead kid. But my will is stronger than ever now. I have to know who sang to me.

I have to find out who the skeleton boy is.