Sing Me To Sleep

Chapter 31

My brother...

The two words reverberate through my mind, bouncing around and making me feel light headed all of a sudden.

Mikey Way is Gerard's brother.

That's the connection, it has to be.

Gerard is the memory who was hiding behind Mikey Way.

"You're the one who saw me," I mumble. "In the hospital. You're the one that--"

My sentence isn't finished before Gerard is jumping off the mattress and taking an angry step toward me. His fists are clenched by his sides and his hazel eyes are boring into me, animosity seeping like venom into his words. "Why are you asking about him?" He demands again.

All at once, everything seems to make sense.

Mikey Way killed himself.

I think back to the article Ray and I found when searching for him, recalling the words almost exactly.

Fourteen year old, Michael Way, was found this morning by his brother in their Belleville home. Way's older brother, fifteen, came home early from school to find his younger sibling hanging by noose in their shared room.

Found this morning by his brother...

I glance around the room, one half looking lived in while the second bed remained vacant. My mouth falls open and a small sound escapes me. "You found him," I realize. "You found him in here, didn't you?"

Tears sting in my eyes, sympathy for the older boy washing over me, but his expression is far from pitiful. He looks pissed.

"Get out," He commands in a low voice. Fury flashes in his eyes and his teeth grind together, trying his best to contain himself. But I can't move; This isn't right. This isn't how this big revelation is supposed to be. I've finally found my skeleton boy, my angel, the one who has been singing to me. When I don't comply, Gerard's hand wraps around the closest object which happens to be book, paperback fortunately, and throws it at me. A bookmark flutters out and I raise both of my arms, ducking away as the novel collides with my shoulder. It's not that painful, really, but the hurt that surges through me makes my breathing shallow. "I said get the fuck out!" He screams.

I don't hesitate this time, spinning on my heels and rushing out of the room. I hear the door slam behind me, seeming to actually shake the house, and the sound just drives me farther. I have to get out. I don't stop at my bedroom or even downstairs. I ignore the curious, some surprised and concerned, gazes from the other residents I never had the chance to meet and race outside.

I don't stop there either.

I'm honestly not sure when I decide to stop, as it's more of my lungs choice than my conscious minds. Tears are staining my cheeks, my chest burning and threatening to just cave in completely. I wish it would; I wish my breathing could just stop. Darkness would take over and I could go back into the safe recesses of my mind instead of having to cope with Gerard's reaction.

He is my skeleton boy. Gerard is the one that visited me multiple times during my stay in the hospital. He's the one that sang to me.

I thought he would somehow be able to save me. I was literally on the verge of death when he stepped into my life and now here I was, running away from him. This isn't how it was supposed to be. None of this is right.

Then again, nothing in my life ever goes right.

I pushed everyone away, that is if I didn't kill them.

My dad. I murdered him in cold blood. They could call it self defense, but I knew the truth; I didn't regret it. I'd do it again if I had the chance. Did that make me a monster?