REDEFINED

II

game
/ɡām/
noun
a form of play or sport, especially a competitive one played according to rules and decided by skill, strength, or luck

🏹🏹🏹

All through middle school, I felt a distance between me and the people I had grown up being best friends with. Everyone started leaving their hair down and sometimes doing their makeup and they cared about what they wore to school each day. They were friends with boys and they were definitely very preppy. I was never like that. I hated having my hair down, makeup was a foreign language to me, and I couldn't care less about what I wore. I was always awkward around boys, despite being a total tomboy.

By the time we reached high school, I still felt that distance, but it seemed to have doubled. I still wore my hair up most of the time, until I cut it to my shoulders and curled it every morning for about a month. I can do simple makeup for colorguard and band concerts, but the most I did for school was mascara and concealer on a bad skin day, which was every day freshman year. My style went from terrible in middle school to bad, but it got better by sophomore year. I made the colorguard squad after freshman year's fail, which was a huge confidence booster by the end of the season. I'm not so awkward around boys anymore. I spent most of my pre-homecoming evening away from the dance floor talking to a group of boys about video games. I've changed a lot.

But no one seems to have noticed that change.

As soon as my interest in The Hunger Games went beyond anything any of my friends had felt, I was known as the book reader. The anti-social girl. The one who likes to be alone and read. Yes, those things are true, but people seem to think that's all there is to me.

Freshman year, I solidly realized how stupid the "popularity" game was. In middle school, the gap showed me that my "friends" were becoming those girls. So, by the time high school rolled around, I pretty much had new friends. I found those friends through band.

Music has always been special to me, ever since I discovered how awesome a job it does at making you feel something. When I met people that are now some of my very best friends in band, I felt like I wasn't alone for the first time in a while. Freshman year held a lot of changes for me, and knowing I had solid friends was one of them.

Yes, I had friends in middle school, but I was always worried about getting left behind again. High school was where I found that people can be faithful. High school is where, so far, I've begun to learn who I am.

I'm done playing games with people. I'm done being a pawn to everyone. Now, I'm ready to take control of my story.