REDEFINED

IX

per·se·ver·ance
/ˌpərsəˈvirəns/
noun
steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success

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People went behind my back and betrayed me.

I wasn't cast as Ariel in last year's show.

I had to watch for 3 months as someone else lived out my childhood dream.

One of the most uplifting people I've ever met left part of my life.

My "friends" silently pushed me away.

Something promised to my friends and I for the last 5 years was taken away.

A fellow leader and someone I once considered a friend began to hate me for no reason.

Our new theatre director decided to do a traditional Shakespeare play, leaving me with no chance at redemption.

One of my little brother's friends was diagnosed with brain cancer.

My anxiety has pushed me closer to the edge than ever before.

This is a list of some of the bad things that have happened in the last 15 months.

I cried on my birthday last year when I thought things were bad. I'm crying again this year because I don't even know where to begin when explaining why I feel the way I feel.

It hit me a few days ago how badly I want to be in a musical. I hate Shakespeare more than anything else and watching this year's show happen around me has left me feeling empty and incomplete.

Luckily, a college that's an hour away is doing Wizard of Oz this spring. I've already worked on a show there and so I know the environment and the people. Our old band director, the one that left last year, and our chorus teacher are both involved in almost every show this college does. Despite the tedious drive and the fact that I may or may not be able to run track, I want to be in this show so badly I can't even begin to explain it.

I realized today that since I'm now 18, I've passed the stage where I can read a scene from Legend and be the same age as June Iparis, my first true hero in the fiction world that wasn't Katniss. But as I leave June, I enter the world of Emma Carstairs. Emma belongs to a story that has found its way into the same place in my heart where Legend lives. To say Emma inspires me is a huge understatement.

As my birthday comes to a close, here's a list of the good things that are headed my way:

Toys For Tots, my favorite day of the year, is this weekend.

My best friend is staying at my house over Christmas break.

I'll be seeing a national tour showing of Anastasia later this month.

The band is going on the Florida trip and I plan to enjoy it. even if Disney is now out of the picture.

Wizard of Oz auditions are fast approaching and I pray that it goes well.

I'll be graduating high school and leaving all the stupid drama behind.

If it works out and tickets can be found, I'll be going to a Shawn Mendes concert next summer.

Although the list of bad currently outweighs the good, I have hope for the coming weeks, months, years. If I can stay patient and stable, I'll be okay.

I'll always find a way to be okay.