how to never stop being sad ; ym

2. Sign

Keep listening to the mixtapes they made you.
Overanalyze every single word you hear.
"Was this a sign that things were going wrong?" - No, no, you were the one who cared too hard, not them.

When Jimin arrived at Taehyung's apartment at around 7pm, his face already hurt from smiling so much.
Finally, he was going to see his best friend again.
His heart was thumping madly against his rip cage as he ran up the stairs to the main entrance, taking two steps at once; and then he was staring at the door bell nameplates and his heart was falling into a deep abyss when the nameplate that had once held Taehyung's name was nothing more than a blank space.

Jimin's smile was gone immediately. His shaking fingers carefully traced the empty nameplate, tears were forming in his eyes.
"Oh, no," Jimin whispered.
He had imagined it again; his stupid mind was fooling him just because he couldn't deal with reality.
Jimin leaned his head against the cold, wooden door and closed his eyes, allowing the first tears to leave his eyes and run down his pale cheeks.

He just stood there for a few moments, trying to ignore the burning pain in his stomach and throat, then he took a few steps down the stairs and finally sat down on one of them.
Jimin didn't care about the weird looks he was receiving from strangers who were passing by, he didn't even bother to wipe his tears away.
He just silently cried to somehow release the anger and disappointment that was inside of him.

It just hurt too much.

After what felt like an eternity, Jimin took his phone out with trembling hands.
He just needed someone to pick him up, and although he hated to bother his friends, he called Hoseok without hesitation.

It didn't take the other man long to pick up his phone.
"Hello? Jimin?" Hoseok breathed out, already sounding concerned.
"Hyung, can you... can you please pick me up?" Jimin sobbed and immediately covered his mouth with his hand.
It was quiet for a few moments, the only thing Jimin could hear was Hoseok's even breath.

"It happened again, didn't it?" he then asked.
A whimper escaped Jimin's lips. "Yes," he mumbled, almost ashamed; no, of course this wasn't the first time something like this had happened to Jimin, which only made it easier for him to believe that his best friends were still out there.
Hoseok sighed, not annoyed, but rather pitying and concerned.

"Where are you?"

"At Tae's place."

"Alright, I'll pick you up. Don't move."

"Thank you..."

Jimin slowly lowered his phone, his glassy eyes just staring at the sidewalk right in front of him. He already felt new tears form in his eyes and his bottom lip tremble, so he quickly lowered his head and covered his face with his hand.

All the happiness he had felt just minutes before was gone. Just like that.
Jimin hated this, he hated himself for not being able to accept what had happened and just be happy for once. It's been months, half a year at least.

A car stopped in front of Jimin and a dark-haired man got out. He eyed Jimin concerned and hurried over to him.
"Hey," he said and kneeled down in front of him, one hand resting on Jimin's arm.
Jimin couldn't even say anything anymore; he just closed his eyes and leaned his head against Hoseok's shoulder.
They just sat there in silence, Hoseok carefully rubbing Jimin's arm while Jimin just cried into his shirt.

"Come on," Hoseok eventually said and gently pushed Jimin away, "You should come to my place, okay? I can call Namjoon and Seokjin-"
"No!" Jimin said a bit too quickly and wiped his tears away, "No, I'd rather go back home..."
Hoseok gave him a doubting look. "I don't think you should be alone now," he said and shook his head once.
Jimin glanced up at him. "Please," he then mumbled, "I really... just want to go home. I promise you, I'll be okay."