how to never stop being sad ; ym

4. Notes

Disclaimer: this one is shit. And it's boring. I know.

~

Go out for coffee four times a week by yourself, always bring your notebook, never stop writing, leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip, watch them smile as you get in your car.

Jimin knew he maybe should call Yoongi, or at least text him. But ever since they'd seen each other the last time and gotten closer, Jimin counted Yoongi as one of his friends and there just was this rule that none of his friends were to be bothered.
Of course, that wasn't what Jimin really thought, it was more like a block in his mind and he just couldn't call Yoongi. So instead, he waited for the older one to get in touch.

There was another reason why Jimin was almost scared to call Yoongi.
When he was around him, he was happy and carefree, he didn't even question what was between them.
But now that Jimin was alone and had time and space to think, everything came crashing down on him and he kept questioning what he had done with Yoongi.
Then again, what had they done? Nothing, just holding hands and cuddling. That was okay, wasn't it? It was all just platonic, there were no romantic feelings between them.

Jimin had never had a relationship with a boy before, and he never had had feelings for one as well.
And he didn't want to. His previous relationships with girls had been great, why would he want one with a boy? Especially Min Yoongi?
Ridiculous.
Jimin huffed at the thought of doing the stuff couples do with Yoongi, him out of anyone.
Yeah, sure.

Yet he had this weird desire to be around Yoongi, and if he couldn't call or text him, then he had to do something else.
So Jimin went to the café once again, shortly before Yoongi's shift ended, as usual. No, he didn't plan on talking to him, it was just the mere proximity that Jimin needed.
Once again, he sat down at the same table and waited for Yoongi who, shortly after Jimin arrived, approached his table.

"Well, hello there," Yoongi greeted him and smiled slightly.
"Hey..." Jimin tried to return the smile.
For some weird reason, he felt his heart drop a little at the sight of Yoongi.

"I thought you'd maybe call... y'know..." Yoongi fiddled a bit with the hem of his shirt, as if he was nervous. But no, that couldn't be.
"Why would I call?" Jimin asked a bit too quick, and in reality he just wanted to tease Yoongi, maybe to make him blush again and get all flustered so Jimin could be sure that Yoongi was in fact getting nervous around him, and he didn't mean it like that, but it was too late because he had already said it.
Yoongi's expression dropped a bit. For one split second, Jimin even thought he looked hurt, but he quickly dispelled that thought.
If Yoongi had been hurt by Jimin's words then that would have posited that Yoongi really liked Jimin (and was someone who took everything literal, but that was something else) and that could definitely not be.

But there was no time to think about that, because Jimin quickly realized what he had said and what his words seemed to mean to Yoongi as soon as he saw the disappointment on the elder's face.
"Oh," Yoongi said and chuckled uncomfortably, "Yeah, right."

Jimin's smile faded and he swallowed hard; no, he really didn't mean it the way Yoongi now thought he did.
"No, I didn't-" he started, but Yoongi just took out the small pad and his pen. And when he looked up at Jimin again, his expression was completely unreadable.
Oddly, this sent shivers down Jimin's back.
Yoongi used to be like that all the time- unreadable. Back then, when they were younger, when they had met. And most people still knew Yoongi as that, as a completely closed up person who barely ever talked and if he did, he always seemed to be pissed.

Jimin though somehow had the privilege to get to know the person behind all of that. The real Yoongi, as cheesy as that might sound.
And he preferred him a lot over the distant Yoongi.