how to never stop being sad ; ym

1. Lie

Quick A/N two years later after the release of this book: DON'T READ THE COMMENTS IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS!! <3

Repeat to yourself that they're not really gone.
Time has proven that fooling yourself into believing a lie is the most effective way to deal with things you have no control over.

Jimin knew the time would come that he was going to be all alone. Deep down he knew it, deep down he had always known it, known that they would leave him.
The worst part was that he didn't have any control over what happened, there wouldn't have been anything he could've done to prevent it from happening.
Yeah, maybe he shouldn't have left early that night, he should've noticed his friends' weird behavior, something definitely had been wrong.
But Jimin had been tired and just wanted to get home, and anyway, what happened after Jimin left was just so preposterous and improbable, no one would ever think their friends would do something like that.
Especially not Taehyung and Jungkook.

But they did, and no, there was nothing Jimin could've done to prevent it.

Jimin had always been somehow prepared for the moment that something happened, but then it did and all of a sudden, he really was alone, and he had no idea how to deal with it.

Suddenly, Taehyung didn't call him at 3am anymore just to ask if Jimin wanted to get pizza and drive around in his car to watch the city lights, or to climb up to the rooftop and watch the stars- whatever stupid idea Taehyung would come up with, Jimin would agree and they'd do it. But Taehyung stopped calling. And suddenly, Jungkook and Jimin stopped going to the dance studio together, so Jimin had to walk alone, and there was no one grimacing during the lesson to make Jimin laugh at the opposite side of the room, and suddenly Jimin was only smiling at the fading memory he had in his mind instead of the real Jungkook in front of him.

Suddenly, there were no weekly movie nights anymore, suddenly, they didn't spend their free afternoons in this one shitty café close to Jimin's apartment anymore.
It all happened so fast; but in the end, Jimin was alone.

But every time his bell rang, he shot up, a big smile on his face, and opened the door, hoping to see Taehyung or Jungkook's face, just to feel the heavy weight of disappointment when all he was met with were Namjoon and Seokjin who wanted to check on him.

And every time someone called him, Jimin grinned at the display and expected to see his best friends' names pop up, but no, they wouldn't ever call him again, instead it was Hoseok, who called him at least once a day just to make sure he was doing alright.

Sometimes, Jimin even thought to hear Taehyung's deep voice or Jungkook singing from somewhere, but when he followed those voices there was nothing expect for his own empty apartment, just proving how lonely he was. It was pathetic, really; Jimin knew that they wouldn't return, not now, not tomorrow, not ever, still he kept telling himself that they would.
They had always come back to him, why would they leave now? He needed them, he needed his best friends so bad.

Jimin didn't want to believe it, he refused to, secretly hoping that repeating often enough that they weren't really gone would somehow make it come true. That's not how reality works, though, but that's how reality worked for Jimin.

Jimin took a deep breath in as he looked into the mirror, staring at his own reflection so intensely as if he was expecting it to smile at him and tell him that he was right, that the excuses he was making up in his mind weren't excuses after all, but nothing less than the truth.

"They're not really gone," he spoke out loud. It almost felt ridiculous, even though Jimin was alone.

"They're not... they're not really gone."