how to never stop being sad ; ym

9. Loneliness

Disclaimer: this is the last one.

You don't need other people to drive away your loneliness,
You just needed to find a way to talk to it.

Jimin felt as if someone had just punched him in the face.
Everything seemed to hurt, but at the same time he was completely numb. He didn't even feel the tears running down his face anymore.
The only sign that he was crying were his loud sobs.

I don't need you.

Fuck you.

"Oh, Yoongi," Jimin sobbed as he dropped to his knees and then leaned against the wall. He never wanted to upset Yoongi, he never wanted to hurt him, and he certainly never wanted things to end like this.
All Jimin wanted was to help Yoongi, he loved him so much, but apparently that didn't matter since Yoongi didn't want anyone to help him.

And what was Jimin supposed to do now? Run after Yoongi? Was that what he wanted?
Maybe not, but it was definitely the most reasonable thing to do.
Jimin's knees were shaking so much when he got up that he was scared he would collapse at any moment. Still, he managed to walk over to the door and open it.

The air embracing Jimin when he entered the hallway felt too cold, eating its way through his clothes and his skin down to his bones.
He started running down the stairs, almost stumbling a few times, and although he was going as fast as he could he felt too slow, and every second passing could be a new chance for something to happen to Yoongi out there.
It could've been ages until Jimin reached the main entrance and stepped outside, he wouldn't have noticed. All that was on his mind was worry and fear and Yoongi.

The sun was setting somewhere on the horizon but thick and dark clouds were covering the sky. It looked like rain.

Jimin's vision blurred and tears were running down his face as he ran down the street.
Yoongi could be everywhere, where was he supposed to start? Was he at some important place, was he nowhere in particular?
Jimin felt sick as he thought about what Yoongi could possibly do to himself.

'I need you,' he thought, 'I can't lose you. Not now. Not you as well.'

The closest place he could start at was the café. Jimin knew it was stupid, and Yoongi was most likely not there, but he had to start somewhere.
As expected, Yoongi wasn't there. Jimin whimpered as he leaned against the wall and gasped for air. He hadn't even noticed that he was out of breath.

This wasn't going to work. By the time Jimin had reached another place, Yoongi could've already gone somewhere else. Maybe even left the city.
And although Jimin hated to admit it, he knew that he needed help.
His fingers were shaking when he searched for Hoseok's contact in his phone.

"Hello?"

"Hoseok?"

"Jimin, are you okay? I was worried-"

"I need your help." Jimin squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his hands.
"With what? Jimin, are you okay?" Hoseok's voice grew more alarmed.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me... it's just- I need your help to find Yoongi... he ran away and I can't find him alone..."

It was quiet. Jimin closed his eyes and counted.
7 seconds, then Hoseok spoke up again.

"Sure, were going to help you. Where are you?"

Never in his life had Jimin been so grateful that Hoseok wasn't asking any more questions.
"I- I'm at the café... I don't know where he is..." Jimin felt his breath quickening; he wasn't running, it was the panic rising in his chest.
"Don't worry, we'll help you. I call you when we find him," Hoseok said.
Jimin sighed in relief. "Thank you, thank you so much." Then, he hung up.