how to never stop being sad ; ym

3. Warmth

Stay up every single night staring at your phone either attempting to gather up the courage to turn these demons, these constant reminders of your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream or praying just for one second you could feel the warmth of equally returned love.

It had been three days since Yoongi and Jimin had met. In those three days, the only times Jimin left his apartment was for work.
And all he did afterwards was go back home and listen to Jungkook and Taehyung's songs, desperately hoping to understand what happened.
'I could've changed it,' he thought, 'But I didn't. I didn't even try.'

Every time Jimin pressed play once again and listened to the songs just one more time! it dragged him down even more.

He knew that he should call Hoseok or even Namjoon and Seokjin, they had told him plenty of times that they would always be there for him, but he just couldn't.
"It would only bother them. They don't really care. Leave them alone," was what Jimin told himself repeatedly.

Jimin still remembered when a few years ago, Namjoon had been in a relationship with a girl who ended up cheating on him. He had been heartbroken, of course, and Jimin had been there for him, hadn't he? Him, Jungkook and Taehyung went up to check on him almost every day, bringing ice cream and other stuff just to make Namjoon feel better. They even attempted to cook dinner for him, but back then they were anything but good at cooking, so the only thing they created was a gigantic mess which Seokjin was to clean up later on since he was Namjoon's roommate.

Jimin smiled tiredly at the memory of that. He turned on his left side and grabbed his phone which was laying on his nightstand. The display was way too bright and Jimin had to squint his eyes.
It was already 11pm, and Jimin was utterly exhausted, but for some reason, he didn't want to sleep yet. It's not like his sleeping schedule didn't exist anymore anyways.

He quickly unlocked his phone and checked his messages- nothing new. The last time someone had texted him was already a week ago, and it had been Seokjin to ask if Jimin wanted to come over for a movie night. Of course, Jimin's answer had been 'No, thanks.'

That seemed to be his go-to answer for everything. "No, thanks. I'd rather be alone. I'm good, don't worry." And partly, that was true, Jimin was rather alone than around people who were scared to properly talk to him for fear that they'd say something wrong that would upset him, and considering his circumstances he was probably doing good, so there really was no need to worry about him.

His friends probably thought so too, because apart from Hoseok, Jimin hadn't really seen them for quite some time.
And yes, Hoseok was still calling him every day, Jimin really appreciated that. Still, Jimin felt bad for stressing Hoseok, even though their phone calls were usually rushed- "How are you?" - "Good." "You sure?" - "Yes." "I would come over, but I'm busy." - "That's okay." "Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?" - "I'd rather not, thanks." "Okay. Stay healthy, will you?" - "Of course. Thanks for calling."

Jimin knew he shouldn't be complaining. He just wished things were different, but they weren't, and they probably would never be again. Maybe, just maybe, if he had been courageous enough to be the one to call his friends, he wouldn't always have been treated like a sensitive porcelain doll that could break every time you just touched them.

He was still staring at his phone. It was five past eleven by now, but Jimin just couldn't bring himself to putting his phone away.

'It's late, they're asleep.'

'They could've called earlier.'

'You told them you wanted to be alone.'

'They don't care.'