The Prince's Unwanted Wife //Jikook//Kookmin//

二

"I want to have a grandchild"
My breath stopped. Trust me I couldn't process what she was saying afterwards all I could hear were the words "I want to have a grandchild".
I turned to face Jungkook and his expression said it all. Of course he wouldn't like it one bit, he despised me he doesn't even want to be in a relationship with me, having children is not even questionable. While I was smiling(sadly) at him he spoke.
"Mother don't you think that's too much I mean we only got married a while ago"
"A while ago?! It's been almost 6 months and you know that we made you get married to Jimin so that you will have a family early and I think it's been 6 months 2 weeks no wait four?.."
"6 months 2 weeks 5 minutes and 19 seconds" I finished the sentence for her, obviously I knew when we got married and I remember the exact time, because I always remember that day and regret it but adore it at the same time. Why can't you ever look at me Jungkook?"
I could feel Jungkook looking at me with wide eyes probably thinking how I knew the exact time. "Wow Jiminnie! You remember each and every detail that's so cute aww" I smiled at her while I just excused myself because I couldn't stay there any longer, I just couldn't that room was suffocating me. I hate it when I have to smile infront of others when I'm actually dying inside, when I have to act happy with Jungkook when in actual it just simply kills me. Once I reached outside I straight away went to the birds as an excuse just to cry my heart out again.

~~

I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and was really frightened. I have been getting these really bad nightmares for a couple of days now but that's not as frightening as it is when you wake up and there is no one to comfort you and tell you that it's okay. I feel like I was used to it, that's what I wanted to feel but I couldn't fool myself anymore. I needed someone everyday to be with me but not just someone, I needed my mom. She's the only person I want right now yet I still can't even have her, I've been raised by lots of wet nurse's throughout my life since my mom was too busy to even raise me and that explains why once I grew up she wanted me married and when I got the proposal she sent me away like an old burdened furniture piece in no time.
It hurts to now look back to how lonely my whole life has been, but what hurt me more was that I still wasn't used to it. Here I was crying like an overly sensitive idiot in the middle of the night again and obviously I didn't expect anyone to hear me or be there for me. I realised that Jungkook wasn't there and then I thought that maybe he's with her again. That hurt me even more and I covered myself with a blanket and somehow fell asleep in the middle of bawling out tears.
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I THINK IT'S TOO SAD:(