memory

964 18 12
                                    

⚠️TW// homophobia, angst
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stan's pov.

everyone has a bad day. i don't why but today is mine. i'm pretty sure. "stanley? bill's here." my mom said and left. "hi st-stan. what's up, b-buddy?" the word 'buddy' gets on my nerves. he says it all the time. it hurts my heart but what should i do?

"holy fuck, bill! stop saying, buddy... it hurts me when you say that because i'm in love with you? no, thank you!" i rolled my eyes.

"wait... w-what did you just s-say?" bill asked. "what? did i say it out loud?" i asked myself but clearly i haven't, "yeah, you d-did." one word, four letters: shit.

"fuck, billy! i am so sorry. i didn't want to say you that today." i noticed tears falling down my cheeks. fuck, fuck, fuck. i shouldn't have said that.

"shouldn't tell me t-today? you shouldn't tell me e-ever! you s-shouldn't have a thing for b-b-boys. especially for m-me. what the f-fuck is wro-wrong with you, m-man?"

"what-" he didn't even let me finish my sentence. "no, don't act st-stupid. what the f-fuck, dude?"

"bill, i thought you were my best friend. you should accept me for who i am. i didn't know you were homophobic." i said. i was confused but hurt.

seriously, i don't understand it. i don't understand him. "it is d-disgusting, st-stan! that's it, i'm o-out." he said and left my room. how am i supposed to live without him? he's my best friend for fuck sake. he's the love of my life. fuck.

"stan? what's wrong, honey?" my mom's voice asked me, stopping me from my thoughts. "i told him that i love him. well, it was an accident but i did it."

"aw baby! it's his loss. when he can't see what a handsome, adorable, kind and funny guy you are, then he doesn't deserve you." my mom said and she was right. "thanks, mom. i love you so much."

the tears didn't stop but my mom did made me smile. "you're welcome. now let's eat some ice cream. it will help you." my mom suggested.

- L A T E R -

"stan, p-please. let me t-talk to you." bill said but i didn't let him, "fuck you, william. you hurt me, what the fuck. you really think an stupid 'apology' makes anything good?" who does he think he is?

"stan, i'm s-sorry. i'm s-so sorry, please. i n-need my best friend b-back. i m-miss you." he cried. i want to forgive him but being just a friend will not fix my heart.

"bill, no. i love you way to much to just be your friend. i'm sorry. please leave my house." i said. i could see a few tears rolling down his cheek but he respects my decision and left my room with saying, "s-see you in school, s-stan."

of course, i miss him as well but what should i do? i can't be with him. my heart was broken but not because he didn't come to say that he loves me too. it broke because i left my best friend with being nothing but a memory.

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