⚠️TW// angst
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bill's pov.
there it is. the only thing that made me fall in love again since beverly decided to be with ben. no offense, i respect that but i really thought i'm in love with her and this could be something. i never felt this kind of love towards anyone else but now there it is. falling in love with my best friend, stan.
the one who made me smile when i cried for years and yelled for bev's name over and over again. he was there. he was always there. and i'm pretty sure, he didn't even want to be here with me. i was a wrack and i was an asshole. especially to stan.
bev means nothing to me. she's always understood how i felt but never actually did something. but it was fine. i mean whatever. she probably felt awkward so i get it. after i lost bev, i stayed friends with eddie and mike but the others i lost. i even lost richie although he's like my brother.
i even yelled at stanley telling him, he couldn't understand what i'm going through because he's too stupid and how nobody's ever going to fall in love with him. but now here i am. totally head over heels in love with him and standing in front of his grave and ask for forgiveness.
"i'm so s-sorry, st-stan. i f-f-fucked up. i'm sorry. you're not s-st-stupid. i am. i lo-love you. i love you. i'm in love w-wi-with you. do you hear me, sz-stanley? the one who once t-t-told you t-t-that no one's e-ever going to f-fall in love with you fell in love with you." i wiped my tears away on stan's sweater. his mother once gave it to me because she told me, stan wanted to give me this as a goodbye gift.
"i'm so f-fucking sorry for every u-ugly word i said t-to you. p-please listen to me! f-fuck! i f-fucking love you." my heart is broken. "i'm so in love w-with you, s-st-stanley uris. i hope you're happy w-where-wherever you are now, m-my love. i'll see you s-soon."
