lost my head

Two.

My name is Alanis Carter.

I let people call me Alan.

And my life all runs to School Is Cool.

The band who made my life rock n' roll.
The band who cut the shit out of me.
The band who turned me into hipster.

What does hipster mean?
They say you could be a hipster if you are an independent thinker, a counter-culture, progressive politics, has an appreciation of art and indie-rock (of course), creativity, intelligence, and wittyness.

These isn't me.

But I still consider myself a hipster. So I put myself in this camp called HipCamp.

"I'm okay. No, I'm not fucking okay. This is School Is Cool in front of me." whispers.

The guy at the back laughs at me, "Hysterical." he poked my shoulder "but don't worry. That's fangirl's job."

I look at him, "Are you also a fan?"

"I was. Now, I am the new member of the band." he smiled very kind to me. I am talking to the new member of the band and I am unaware of it? Am I still a real fan? Is this a dream?

"Whoever has their VIP pass please fall in line here. How many are you anyway?" The other guy who suddenly speak in front of me counting us.

"Why are you in line? Aren't you the part of Meet and Greet? You're a band member." I asked whispering.

"Nothing." he's about to leave "by the way nice to meet you." then gone.

I cannot handle being a fangirl here. They were so amazing and I can't decide which member I really love the most. Maybe Frank or George. But sometimes I choose Jess. Okay, but I love how Dave having his poker face. Now, the new guy talked to me, I do not know already which one.

"Before the show starts, here's our guys who can randomly talk to you and get a million pictures with them. Make sure that you visited them in soundcheck earlier today." The guy a while ago said to us. Mostly here are guys with their girlfriends. I can't judge who influenced to them. Whether the girlfriend or the boyfriend. Either way, nobody influenced me, I just found them in mall show and started to love them.

The first guy who get outside the room is Jess, the funny one. Next to him is Dave and Frank. Lastly, George. I'm looking for the new guy but he wasn't introduced. Some girls taking a video with them and the guys are talking to them. Like the manager said, "randomly" If I were the artist I might have a headache because I do not know who am I gonna talk to first. Either on the right side or the left side or the center.

"Uhh." George looks at me smiling. He's the coolest vocalist I know. "where's the new member?"

He get confused, "You mean.."

"The new PA's?" Jess asked. The sweetest of the band.

"It's singular, J." Frank looks at him raising his brows. The drummer of the band who oftenly talk with fans. The nicest guy artist I know.

"Well, yeah. You mean Troy?" George asked.

"I-I'm not sure. He didn't tell me his name but he was here." Searching him at the room but he don't exist.

"Probably he went out. Do you want to take a pic with me?" he gave me a sweet smile.

"That..is so..rude G." Jess says while laughing.

This is what I like in the band. They don't only have a band, but they also have brothers. A great bond brotherhood. Where you can out your naughtiness, lame attitude, you can share your loads of dramas.

"Who wouldn't?" I asked excitedly, walks on the way to their sofa where they sitting while I'm dazzled by the camera flashed here and there.

"Please never plan to disband. I don't want another best band to leave me." I say.

"Whose band did that to you? That was savage." serious talk with George.

Meanwhile, I realized one member of them didn't talk to fans. I don't know if he don't want to have a conversation with us or he's being shy. His name is Dave. The bassist of the band. Not rude but grumpy. He takes all the maturity in life. Wish I was him. So I couldn't take these risks like as if a dumb person to be insecure with unacceptable reasons.

"Hey uh.." I smile faintly, "I'm such a big fan but if you don't speak by the time I might kiss you or punch you." keeps shaking my head. "just choose between the two"

He breaths, "You're not that proud of yourself, aren't you?" said Dave emotionless.

"At least you spoke because of that." then I kissed his right cheek.

Why am I not satisfied in my life if I know I am free to do what I want? like this. I kissed my idol. This isn't normal. However, I feel dominant female now.

"Join us in our show tonight. Thank you for today!" The frontman George said while giving a bid of goodbye to us. "Grey congrats to your board exam. And uh.." he's finding someone. "You..what's your name again?"

"I'm Alan." I cackled.

"I forgot, forgive me. Alan, please enjoy your summer camp. Rock n Roll!" and a guy tries to pull him.

~

Today is the best day ever.

I met the four guys that makes me happy. Only when I hear their songs and I watch their videos. But I couldn't believe I'm coming over here. Watching them live, breathing the same air, walking on the same ground, drinking the same water. I am hysterically in love with them.

They changed me. The old me was, frustrated superstar and hipster and cool wanna be. But I still am (LOL).

Once again, tries to be called a hipster. Imitating their fashion sense, their being a clever, their being aware in political in which they call it "big brothers", their being artistic (although I draw) its not necessary and most especially, they are best film critic and I am not. Good luck to me in my summer camp with incredible genius people.