Things I Should Say- A Book of Poems

beginnings

Your laugh is a CD I wish would get stuck in my car's stereo.
Your eyes are kind, seeing me as more than I will ever be.
Your lips spill happiness and hope and they kissed me on your sidewalk.
We watched my favorite movie in your bed and I held my breath as I worked up the nerve to hold your hand. 
You rode that one ride at the fair with me, even though you're afraid of heights.
You let me put my arm around you and your hand locked itself in mine even though I was sweaty, part from nervousness and part from the summer's heat.
I am intensely happy and simultaneously completely sick with fear.
I have been here before.
Beginnings are always full of wonder and stomach butterflies. Yet so often beautiful beginnings die quickly and fade.
I like you too much for my comfort. 
We are an untitled book, no name to this crazy whirlwind thing that we have become and the uncertainty makes me restless.
I will not fall so hard.
When I do, I stumble and scrape my knees bloodying and bruising this body of mine.
I love the idea of love so much that I put myself through hell for the mere chance of finding it and I am always dissapointed.
But though I am scared,
I will take the risks for you.
A chance at you is worth going all in.
My cards are on the table, and my highcard is a queen of hearts, you being the queen of mine that is.
I have had so many beginnings become endings that it is hard to trust that there is a possibility that love can be real.
But you make me want to take the risk.
I am happy to take a chance on you.