these are my stupid quotes, jokes and poems that i created (i created the internet and everything on it),
BEWARE there are a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes because i am typing on my laptop so just ignore those and another thing is that after the dash on each quote, poem or joke is my personal opinion!
Cheers! Brydee!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------
An apple a day keeps anyone away, only if you throw it at the cunt hard enough! - my personal favourite
What i do when i see someone pretty; i stare, i smile and then i put the mirror down! - i basically do this all the time!!
I did not trip and fall, i am just attacking the fall and i am winning! - Ha Ha, i am a champion at beating floors up with my face!
The broccoli says, "i look like a tree!" The mushroom says, "i look like an umbrella!" The walnut says, "i look like a brain!" and the banana says, "Can we please change the subject!" - oh banana, they don't know how good you really taste though!
I just wanted to let you know that someone cares, not me but someone does. - 'somewhere over the rainbow!' depressed life
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Lets just say things got a little tense.- *throws first punch*
My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him. - just stop thinking so literal for once in your damn life people!!!!!
What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nut are under a buck. - i was pissing myself laughing at this one!!!!!
eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches. - damn
Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy. - i love baby groot
How did I escape Iraq? Iran. - I immediatly thought of you when i read this
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game. - i can be a very lyre, birdy... that was a shit attempt at a pun.
How did Jesus' crucifixion save us? It's 'cause he nailed it! - @ellenlavis
There's been a murder, a woman was killed,
found in a bathtub, partially filled.
A pair of policemen went into the house
and questioned the poor woman's spouse.
He'd just come home from working all night
and found her like that, a terrible sight.
The younger policeman looked on with dismay.
He'd never forget that terrible day.
He saw the young woman from behind the door
and empty milk cartons all over the floor,
Scattered strawberries, slices of fruit,
and spoonfuls of sugar and honey to boot.
''Who could have done this terrible thing?''
His voice had a horrified, pitiful ring.
''Just look at the clues,'' replied Sargeant Miller.
''It looks like the work of a cereal killer.'' - the bloody culprit is right infront of them!!!
Any way thats it for the day
goodnight sleep tight and dont let the bedbugs bite!!!
YOU ARE READING
thoughts of 2 random children (and brydee)
Random"My life is so much more interesting inside my head" When 3 ferals express their thoughts on a page. #839 in poetry! #159 in gospel 😍
