Virtual Reality | kth ✔️

008 - Canvas

The sky was gloomy again, I watched as raindrops landed on the window of the car. It was sunday, which meant I had to go to the stupid therapist place again. I was truly dreading it this time, since I had purposely overdosed after our first meeting.

"Good morning Taehyungssi!" Joohyuk greeted me with a warm handshake and invited me inside his office. My mom had left me at the doorstep saying she had important business plans. Like always. So i gloomily walked into his office and sat down on the couch, shoulders humped and hands latched onto each other. Something was different about Joohyuk's office this time, it wasn't as bland and boring as before. Taking a closer look, I realized that a new painting had been added to the wall behind his office desk.

Joohyuk sat down in front of me with his usual pen and clipboard, immediately diving into a speech about something that I completely tuned out. It wasn't anything I cared about after all.

Throughout the entire session, I found myself constantly eyeing the new painting on the wall. How its purple streaks perfectly complimented the patches of orange and pink and how the small outlines of yellow made the entire painting merge into one beautiful sunset. The part of the painting that caught my attention the most however, was the grey silhouette that stood alone amongst crowds of people, painted in black. What normal silhouettes should look like.

"I just bought that painting yesterday, what do you think of it?" Joohyuk asked towards the end of our session, realizing my constant staring at the new artwork. "Its really pretty, the sunset and the sil-" I was interrupted by a familiar voice at the door of the office. Turning around, I made eye contact with Emily. "Oh? Taehyung? That therapist you were talking about was my dad?" She asked, clearly just as surprised to see me as I was.

"I-it appears so" I muttered, looking at my hands. The clearing of a throat snapped me and Emily's bubble apart. "Taehyung, I see that you have already met my daughter Emily. How? I do not know but this means I don't need to introduce the two of you. So I'm just going to give you another capsule of depression pills. Please do not try and overdose again, it won't work. These pills aren't strong enough to kill" And handed me the white capsule again. I grabbed it, suddenly feeling a wave of disgust course through me, strangling my intestines before letting go slightly.

It all came crashing down on me. How I am a total mess. How I needed pills to keep me alive and away from the void of total depression. How nasty of a person I was and how I felt no emotions but the occasional sadness or self hatred that isn't allowed to be showed on a daily basis to any part of the world.

I overdosed, and was content about it. I was content about hurting myself. None of my family members loved me anymore after business and money consumed their souls. I guess they took my soul with them as well. So I left the room quietly, too disgusted with myself to bother acknowledging Emily's smile as she said goodbye or her friendly wave in an attempt for me to notice her instead of the ground.

While walking back I realized something else, I had wanted to die. Ever since I had woken up from my overdose incident I haven't had a chance to reflect on my thoughts until now.

Emily just entered my life after the incident, she found me in the hospital and kept me company. The next day I find out she was in my school and she steered me away from wanting to end my emotionless life again. Even if I did laugh more around that girl, I still felt confused and surprisingly reluctant at the thought of feeling happy or having other positive emotions in general.

That was when it hit me. Its Emily. She was the one who caused these mild emotions to appear in my grey life. She was, although extremely subtly, trying to paint colors onto my grey canvas.

A/N

AYO

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