The story of my life could be summed up with a color. A color that is associated with dullness, drooping shoulders and lips, as well as gloominess. It is also often associated with the colour that just so happened to cover the sky today on this afternoon. The color Grey.
It always confused people, why I looked so sad. Why I had no urge to smile or laugh, and most importantly why I didn't care.
They keep asking me questions, but most of them can be summed up into one. Why are you depressed? Can't you just be happy?.
The answer is, I don't know. I don't remember the last time I had let myself disdainfully smile, I can't ever seem to find the energy to skip and run around on the green grassy fields. Happiness seemed like the most difficult word to understand in my dictionary.
Do you cut? They would ask me. Then they would grab my wrist and pull the sleeve up, checking for the non existent scars. I don't cut, I chose not to. Only those who were heart broken cuts. I'm not heart broken, yet. Everything's just numb
Love. A word everyone experienced as a child and throughout their life. I never experienced it. They all say love was what made everyone's heart beat with passion. I guess mine just beats to survive.
A raindrop hit my nose and snapped me out of my lifeless thoughts. I didn't look up, I knew it was raining. I knew the clouds were grey and dark above me. I knew that umbrellas were being taken out and being opened. I didn't care, I just kept walking.
Cars drove past me as I made my way to the familiar brick building called school. We were supposed to learn here, we were supposed to make friends here. Everyone did follow these expectations. Everyone but me.
A/N:
I FREAKING ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THIS PART AND IM SO PISSED RN BUT OH WELL GOOD THING I HAD IT ON A GOOGLE DOC LOL
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