piano lessons // phan ((being rewritten))

lesson one

that night, anxious thoughts cluttered dan's mind.

yes, he'd agreed to teach phil how to play a song on the piano. and yes, he had promised to teach him every evening. but as he laid in bed thinking about this, he began to regret his decision. what was he thinking? out of all the songs in the world, phil wanted to learn moonlight sonata? it had taken professional lessons and hours of practice for dan to learn the song, and now phil was expecting dan to teach him beethoven? and, oh god, were they going to have to sit at the piano every night till phil finally got it? dan wasn't even a good teacher - he could barely explain his own thoughts without fumbling over his words, so how in the world was he going to do this?

dan took a deep breath, attempting to calm himself down. this was phil, after all. it wasn't like he was some random person off the street. he was going to be teaching his best friend. phil would never judge his piano playing. phil would never get mad at dan for his terrible teaching. dan thought about all the good things that could come out of this - after all, it was a time to bond with his favorite person. maybe, just maybe, this could be fun. 

yet he couldn't shake the feelings of unease he had. if only he'd heard phil when he walked through the front door, phil wouldn't have heard him play, and he wouldn't have asked to learn.

there was a reason dan preferred to play when no one was around. even with piano, he worried what others would think of him. what if everyone were to think he was absolutely terrible? the thought of that alone would be enough to ruin his self esteem, to the point where he might never sit down at a piano again. he couldn't let that happen. he loved the instrument, so he would continue to play in solitary.

the next day, phil was absolutely ecstatic when dan mentioned his first lesson. dan, on the other hand, was more nervous than excited. he'd spent the previous night sitting at his desk, trying to figure out where he'd start. would he teach phil the essentials, like reading notes, or wing it and jump straight into the song?

in the end he decided it wouldn't hurt phil to learn a few notes. he could start with the basics, beginning with treble clef. they could gradually move forward from there, slowly making progress.

unfortunately for dan, phil wanted to get straight to the music. that's why, when phil came bounding into the room expecting to be a virtuoso in a few simple hours, he was a bit disappointed to see dan not at the piano, but at the desk instead.

"the basics," dan said, handing him a sheet of paper and a wooden pencil. "first, you're going to start off with learning the notes for treble clef."

phil, as dismayed as he was, complied. he'd never played a piano before, so he wasn't exactly sure what to expect. actually, he'd never played any instrument before. he always thought they were interesting, but he never got around to learning. as informal as it was, this was to be his first music lesson.

taking a seat at the desk, phil continued to listen to dan attempt to explain the notes. dan sat on the piano bench, facing phil. after half an hour of dan trying to explain a few simple chords, phil felt worn out. all he could think about was the image of him in his head, playing the piano. as a child he never played sports, never did any extracurriculars, so this was somehow helping to fix an empty void in his life. learning the song was now a personal goal of his, but was learning sharps and flats really necessary?

phil, starting to get impatient, began to complain. "when are we going to actually play the piano?" he whined, looking at the messy notes he'd been forced to draw in distaste.

dan sighed. of course phil would want to start playing immediately. dan was like that when he began too, but he soon realized that learning music theory and sight reading was actually a useful skill to have, and it made learning songs ten times easier.

"we can get to the piano eventually, just as soon as you learn how to read treble clef."

phil eyed him, watching dan's eyes fix on the floor.

"....and bass clef."

phil let out a groan before getting up and falling back onto the bed, closing his eyes. even with his eyes shut, all he could see was a kaleidoscope of notes, notes, treble clefs, and more notes.

"fine, let's try something different," dan said, sighing for what felt like the fiftieth time. he patted the space next to him, motioning towards the piano. "get over here."

phil beamed and jumped from the bed, joining dan. the bench was small enough that when he sat down, their shoulders brushed against each other. every time one of them made even the smallest of movements, their elbows would touch. when dan turned to look at phil, he was almost surprised at how close they were. phil felt dan become tense, but said nothing of it.

"uh-okay, so we can start with the first measure," dan said, beginning to stumble over his words.

phil nodded, watching dan intently as he played the first few notes of the song with ease.

"the first couple of measures are basically repeating, so you just have to play the same notes a few times over and over," dan continued, looking at the sheet music in front of him.

but phil wasn't paying attention anymore. somewhere in between dan's sentence phil had stopped listening, more focused on how close they were. his mind had clouded over, and the music had disappeared from his thoughts altogether. all he could think about was how dan was talking to him and they were inches away from each other and how had he never noticed how pretty dan was?

"phil," dan said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "did you hear a single word of what i said?"

"y-yeah totally," phil stuttered, beginning to freak out. he felt his face begin to flush as realization hit him. he couldn't figure out what he was doing and why did dan all of a sudden look so stunning and did he really just think about how pretty his best friend was?

dan, puzzled and slightly scared, inched closer to phil. "hey, you okay?" he asked, wondering why phil suddenly looked like he'd seen a ghost.

phil stared at him with eyes like saucers and practically scrambled to get up as he backed to the door, tripping himself in the process.

"i-i'm sorry," he said, right before bolting out the door.

dan, confused as ever, was left alone in his room.