It's You Who I Love (BTS FANFIC IMAGINE) [COMPLETED]

PAGE 59

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I dropped my body in my bed as I felt the fatigue I had gained for the whole day. This was the busiest day for me. It was my first time to do a surprise party for someone but I felt rewarded seeing him smiling. At least I reached my goal, and that is to make him happy.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe. I saw Jin's face in my mind. I am missing Jin. I can't hide the fact that I am missing him. It's been four days since he left the country and he didn't give me any call yet. I just wonder how he is doing right now. Is he okay? I'm feeling guilty knowing that he doesn't have an idea on the situation that I have to enter. I felt guilty as I define myself a cheater.

I tried to get my phone inside my bag but when I can't feel it inside, I sat to pour what's inside my bag.  As my phone fell on my bed, I immediately grabbed it and dialed Jin's number. If he can't make a call, then I will be the one to do it for him. Making up my mind, I thought I was going to do the right thing. I am going to tell it to him. I am going to explain everything to him. I will relay him my situation and will ask for his permission to do it. If I ever explain it to him myself, I am sure he can understand. I'm sure he will understand me. Besides, Jung Kook said it, he just want me to stay with him and he doesn't care about me and Jin.

I heard the other line ringing. "Jin pick it up." I said as I was getting jaded waiting for him. I dropped my body again still waiting for him. But I became impatient and I stomped my feet on my bed as I sighed a heavy one.  It caused my things to bounce. I looked at them and I was drawn to the letters that I got from Jung Kook's unit.

I hung up and locked my phone. I put it down and grabbed one of the letters. I then inhaled and exhaled finding enough courage to open it. Like the first one that I read, it looked old. I think it was his first letter to me, barely ten years ago.

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'Dear <Y/N>, Mom and I arrived here in London earlier.' Now I'm sure that it's his first letter to me.

'I don't like here. I can't understand the way they speak.' I laughed a little with his statement.

'I am sorry that I didn't say the reason why we are moving here. Mom said I need to be cured.' I was then stoned and saddened reading this part.

'Mom said you will never understand. I asked her why, and she said it's because you're too young. Me too, I can't understand.' I let out a smile as a tear fell from eyes again for the nth time.

'She just said I'm sick. I told her that I just need to take the medicine we hate but she said it will not work. <Y/N> , I think Mom's lying to me.' I laughed with his last sentence. It was really a letter made by a seven-year-old boy.

'<Y/N>, I miss you.' I smiled in pain.

'and when I get well, I will go back there, and let's get married! I love you!" I laughed as tears fell like waterfalls from my eyes.

It was the very first letter Jung Kook had done for me, but it was the most innocent one. He himself doesn't know about his condition, he himself doesn't know how serious it was for him. I found myself lucky for not knowing it, for that I didn't have to suffer thinking about him. But I also found myself damn stupid for not gambling and trying to know what had really happened to him when I can. I hate myself for that. I hate myself for being useless.

The succeeding letters were series of stories about his life in London. Torture it may call but I can't stop myself from reading those. I was hurting, yes but I felt happiness too as I learned few things of his life when he was far. Minutes later and I'm down to the last envelope. Unlike the rest, it seemed to be new. I immediately opened it and read it. It was just dated few months ago.

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'Yah! <Y/N>! how are you? I heard from Mom that your parents had separated. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope I am there to comfort you.'

'I really miss you a lot and it made me realized that it's already ten years that passed. Phew!'

'Anyway, as I always say to you, I'm getting bored here.  Home sucks, school sucks, hospital sucks, medicine sucks, my life sucks! So I really wanted to go home there and be with you.'

'Hey, <Y/N>, next year we're going to be on our legal age right? It means were allowed to get married!  So get ready huh? And make sure that you're not into someone aside from me. Wait for me till I'm back! I love you!'

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I smiled as I finished reading his letters. I checked the time on my phone as I knew it was really late. But as I opened my phone, Jung kook's sleeping face welcomed me. I remembered setting it too as my wallpaper before I leave his unit earlier.

"Hey ..." I started talking to my phone.

"You're such a brave man huh?" I said as I tried to smile.

"Ten years of fighting for your life." A tear fell.

"But you're stupid!" I eventually scolded his picture as I broke out crying.

"Why? ... Why do you need to be back if it means you're putting your life in danger?!"

"Why do you have to do it?!"

"Jung Kook ... you're killing me." I wept as I really felt guilty. "It's my fault right? It's my fault."

"Because of me you went back here. Because of me your life is in danger. It's my fault ...."

'I can't stand this. The fault is within me. I am the reason why Jung Kook left his life in London and weeping like a kid doesn't give me a lighter feeling at all. The blame is in me, and I, myself blames myself. What to do? What else should I do?'

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