Muke One-Shots

**Anxious

Trigger warning; Panic attacks, described in detail.

Michael had always been anxious before huge shows and important events, but only he knew it's severity and how it actually affected him.

For a while, he'd just shake it off, because they only have smaller, less intimidating crowds, like back in Sydney and through their very first tour ever. But as they slowly started to get even more noticed, he'd get strangely nervous before the shows. The other band members had already gotten used to the fame and crowds of people, but Michael had never been one for large groups of people - his friend group as a child was less than five people, maybe six in grade three. It was no wonder when in high school, he was suspected of having an anxiety disorder, even though he hasn't gotten himself tested.

But at the TCA's, Michael started out as nervous, but still excited to perform in front of all the people there. He was figuring out what to wear in the dressing room, which was occupied by only himself for the moment. It helped him to think when he was alone.

Then, out of nowhere, he started to think of all the bad things that could go wrong. He could mess up terribly and have the crowd boo him, or miss the solo he was supposed to sing, and even if he didn't look good enough compared to the rest of his bandmates. Maybe his guitar would break, or he'd fall and cause the entire ceremony to be paused for a long time.

The thoughts started picking up speed and got even more frightening to Michael, eventually whirling though his head like a tornado of negativity. He felt his heart race and his breath shorten dramatically, and he knew in the back of his mind that he was having a panic attack.

He felt his hands tremble as he was attempting to button up a shirt he'd found, and backed up to where the couch was, falling down onto it and tugging at his hair as he looked down at his knees, hyperventilating.

"F-Fuck," he stammered to himself quietly, feeling as if all the scenarios were happening at once, and even feared that he'd die because of the attack at some point or another.

He knew he needed to calm down, but he just couldn't. Every time his happened, it would take at least thirty minutes for him to even begin to calm down.

He started to tear up in frustration, which only made himself panic even more, because now he couldn't see as well - there could be anything lurking just beyond his view, and he hated that feeling of terror that it gave him. This was more intense than any horror movie anybody would ever make, in Michael's opinion.

Luke was walking by the dressing room, and he heard the faint sound of someone breathing heavily, but rapid and inconsistent. He furrowed his brow, knocking on the door. He heard a muffled, brief yell that sounded something like 'no'.

Michael heard a knock on the door, and felt his own grip on his panic slip. He shouted, stood up and backed away to the wall, covering his face and sitting down. He started to get lightheaded, but everything he heard was amplified. A small step was clear as day, and his own breathing was loud, as if it was on a large stereo being played at one of the highest levels possible.

Luke opened the door and heard someone hyperventilating, before he saw them. He looked around for a moment, before his eyes settled on Michael near the farthest corner from the door, face covered and shaking uncontrollably. As soon as he looked at him though, Michael froze. He didn't seem to move even a millimetre.

Michael felt someone looking at him and froze instantly, not daring to breathe or move, fearing that it was a bad idea to move even the smallest bit.

Luke's eyebrows shot up as he realised what was happening, and he didn't move, not wanting to make Michael panic even more.

"Michael, it's just me." Luke said softly, noticing how Michael was breathing lightly now.