The Tattoo Guy (MCR FIC)

Chapter 9

Chapter 9 (cont from Chapter 8)

"Hi Gee.” She says, her green eyes are sparkling as they stand out against her makeup that looks so professional and model worthy; her face has a glow to it but also wearing a nervous expression. Wearing designer clothes and her hair up in a styled messy bun. She still looked so beautiful, so well put together, it made me forget everything that ever happened between us.

“Lyn-z.” I say around the lump in my throat and I hear everyone stop at look towards us, the woman who gave me my beautiful daughter but also left, treated me awfully and discarded the only good thing that ever happened to me to deal with on my own.

Ivy is hid behind me, she’s still small and shy, like she knows who this woman is but she also needs protection. Lyn-z crouches down and I notice in her hand a little bag; peeking round my leg she catches our daughter’s attention. “Hello honey, I’m Lyn-z, I heard it’s your birthday so I got you a little something.” She offers the little bag out and Ivy reaches out her hand apprehensively before taking it, looking in the bag she pulls out another little jewellery box- inside is a silver locket. “Open it, like this.” Lyn-z shows her taking her little hands in her own and pressing the claps making it spring open revealing a tiny folded piece of paper and a picture of my yearbook photo next to her one in the actual lining of the locket; the folded paper opens to be the little sonogram that she had just been looking at. Something in my gut turns and tugs, my heart constricts and aches; my eyes tear up and my body an urge to fall to the floor in one big mess overpowers me. But then I feel the anger, the hurt, and the pain.

“Daddy.” Ivy holds my hand looking up at me confused, I’m stuck, I don’t know what to do.

“Gee, if you don’t want her to know I’m okay with it, I just wanted to see my daughter on her birthday.” Lyn-z stands tall in her black leather heeled boots, her skinny fit blue jeans and her jean jacket a colour I’ve never seen her wear before. She’s changed and I don’t know what she wants but I have a bad feeling.

“You know what Lyn-z you may have given birth to my daughter but that is all she’ll ever be. My daughter. My. Not yours. Not ours. You weren’t there, you’re not a mother and it’s too late now, you signed over everything the second she was born, you abused me and you abused her before she even step foot in this world. What makes you think you have any right to waltz back into our lives like nothing happened? Is it because you’ve ‘changed’? Is it because you thought she’s old enough to be by herself, no changing, no feeding at early hours in the morning, no potty training or endless days of not sleeping? You turn up today and think I’ll forget everything that happened over a necklace? Well I’m no fool, I remember the hours of nagging and bitching and bullying you put me through; I remember the names you called me, the scars you left me; I remember when you opened at bottle of sleeping pills and vodka- daring to take away the only reason I stayed. The innocent little child who had done no wrong. We were kids I get it, we were confused and had our own demons I get that too! But I can’t believe I used to love you. You can’t take away my daughter so get it into your thick skull.” I was pissed. I was fuming. Ivy had her arms wrapped around my leg and I had gotten closer to Lyn-z as people watched as time stood still.

There was a silence. A long word filled silence between Lyn-z and I, the atmosphere was thick as hardwood. Our eyes were soul searching back to that time where everyone had no troubles, no worries about life, no stupid bills to pay or jobs to earn money. The time we were 7 years old and we first met. The time I picked her up when she fell over at the playground and I kissed her knee better. The time of my childhood where I fell in love. No gay or straight, no kissing or sex, no drugs or alcohol- just sugar rushes and sticky hand holding as we played with our action figures.

“I loved you too y’know. Walking away from you, from Ivy, was the hardest thing I ever did. I had to sort myself out Gee, I couldn’t be a mom back then, not when I was still so addicted. But I came back. I came back after I came back from rehab. When I got to your house your mom told me you were gone. I never thought I would see you again. I was so hung up on you. Every guy or girl I have ever been with I couldn’t shake you off, I wanted you. I wanted our family.” A tear escapes her eye and I reach up to stroke it away her skin so soft and warm under my fingertips. Although I could feel a ‘but’ coming on.

“But every time I tried to get to you I was pushed away. But I will never be the mom I should have been. But I so crazy to ever let myself fall for you all over again.” For each but she said my heart sank lower and lower. Stay strong Gee, stay strong.

“I don’t know if I can do this Lyn-z. I don’t know if I can let you back into our lives.” I say standing my guard and try to resist her at the same time feeling that lightheaded feeling once again.

“Then let me show you what it’ll be like, please.” She says as she steps forward and inch cups my face in her hands and brings her lips to mine. TING. Every cell in my body is on fire and my heart is beating so fast I’m afraid it’ll explode.