I'm depressed. I'm unhappy. I want to die.
The only thing stopping me from ending it all is pretending I'm okay until even I think it's true.
But you wouldn't know that. Because you never bothered to ask.
*Trigger Warning*
I have always lived in my older brother's shadow. He's a model person. Everyone seems to like him.
Me, not so much.
Let's call him Jordan. Whenever I go anywhere, whenever I do anything, I'm always being compared to him.
Jordan is so smart that he got this grade but you couldn't even get a grade lower. Jordan is so social, why don't you have that many friends? Jordan goes out so much so why are you always in your room? Jordan is so helpful, get your lazy butt here and help. Jordan is so funny but you're just awkward and weird.
And my personal favourite,
Jordan is so good looking, but you're so ugly. Are you sure you're related?
I could do anything in the world and I will guarantee that Jordan has already done it better than I have.
Yet what have I ever done for people to hate my every move so much?
I was myself.
So if being myself is so wrong, then who else am I supposed to be?
Supposedly, my brother.
Changing is much harder than you'd think. So much harder. And I've tried. Lord you don't know how much I've tried. But there always comes a point where I forget and then go back to being myself.
I had thought I was over this by now. The dangerous thoughts that circle through my mind.
But all it took was one text message to bring it all rushing back.
What is so wrong with me that I'm not even good enough for myself?
-💀
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
