It turns out, my mum was as good at faking smiles as I was. It was almost like nothing had ever happened.
Admittedly, I didn't tell her everything. I didn't tell her about my eating habits. I obviously didn't tell her about the family. I didn't tell her about the attempted self harm. I didn't tell her about the nightmares that came so much more frequently than I told her. I didn't tell her about the way I would kill myself if I ever found the guts to (OD).
And I most definitely didn't tell her about the half written suicide note that was at the bottom of a rubbish dump somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean.
But it was progress. I didn't feel like I was betraying her as much, like I was a criminal in my own home. I've always told my mum about everything but my feelings. And I guess she'd been okay with that.
Maybe drama teacher had been right to force me into telling her.
But nobody would ever know about the fake smiles, because they would be a secret I took with me to the grave. However early that may be.
-💀
YOU ARE READING
Faking Smiles
Short StoryI'm depressed. I'm unhappy. I want to die. The only thing stopping me from ending it all is pretending I'm okay until even I think it's true. But you wouldn't know that. Because you never bothered to ask. *Trigger Warning*
