He's An Arrangement

I Didn't Know What To Title This One

 The phone dropped from my hands, landing on the floor. I don't know what I'm supposed to say, or do. Killian still has his arms on either side of me. He didn't move. All it took was the look on my face to understand what's going on. I brought one hand to his hair, pulling him to me closer. He resisted, standing straight.

"My baby..." He muttered, instantly darting his eyes across the room, "Pants... I need pants, and shoes, socks, a shirt. No, no, I just need to go," he turned to the bedside table, running his hands along it and knocking off items, "Where are my goddamn car keys? I always leave them right here."

"You leave them downstairs, Killian," I tried sounding as calm as I could, but I could hear my voice begin to quiver as it became harder to speak. I hadn't thought of Killian. Of his kid. If she dies, there's no way in hell this baby will live. Right now, that's all he's set on. He doesn't care about anything else but this kid.

The day I lost Henry is still drilled in my mind, no matter how many times I beg for me to forget it. Right after he was born, the doctor said he wasn't breathing. I asked to hold him, at least once. They didn't let me. I carried around false hope for months that maybe my baby had been put up for adoption without them telling me, it was like something out of a movie. Maybe they thought I was an unfit mother, and decided someone better could take care of him. There's still a small part of me that believes that he's alive. I'd hate to have Killian carry the same false hope.

I even had a false pregnancy once. It only made Neal hate me more. He hit me hard for that. That was the first time I broke anything from him. He had grabbed my wrist, in an attempt to get my attention, I pulled back (something I'd never try now) and my wrist snapped as an outcome. He drove me to the hospital and continuously apologized, saying he didn't mean to. That he loves me too much, he'd never hurt me.

I wonder if Killian had ever hurt Milah. I'm almost positive he hadn't. He's too caring. Killian can't even kill a fly, he would never do that to her. What if he'd do it to me someday? What if I get pregnant again, and that kid dies too. Would he do what Neal had? Would he fall into the same sea of raige? Of course, he would. Any father that just lost their kid would. I beat myself up over it, why should they not do the same?

He nodded his head and ran down the stairs. I reached for the phone before chasing after him, "Killian,take a breath!" I shouted to him,

"No, no. I need to find her. Where would she go? There are so many places she could be. She could already be dead, Emma," his eyes teared up as he said the word, "She could be dead..." He whispered, stopping his search for car keys.

He dropped to the floor, bringing his hands to his hair, "Dead... Emma. My baby could be dead. They could be sitting in a pile of blood somewhere-" Killian stopped, tears choking his throat. I sat in front of him, moving his hands and instead placing my hands on either of his cheeks and stroked his face lightly.

"Don't think like that, Killian," I whispered, trying to calm him.

He continued crying as he dropped his head to rest against me. I pulled him close and wrapped my arms around him, "Please don't leave me, Emma."

I shook my head, "I'd never leave you," I looked back up to see Mary Margaret standing above us. She tilted her head, pointing her finger at Killian but not saying a word. Killian's phone screen light up with Liam's contact and it began to buzz. I reached for it, swiping my finger across the screen and accepting his call. Mary Margaret crouched next to me, rubbing a hand against Killian's back.

"Liam?" I forced myself to ask into the phone. What would I say if he responds saying that it's too late, and Milah is gone?
"Meet me at the hotel near the airport," he said before hanging up the phone.