Legacy (Completed)

Chapter 24

REN'S POV

What does one do when you feel helpless? You can't help, but you can't just walk away. It's an entirely different beast to tame than anger, sadness, jealousy. So, what does one do when you feel helpless? Absolutely nothing, and because of that, feeling helpless could quite possibly be the worst feeling in the world.

Now here I was, a glass wall separating me from Jacqueline, watching a machine seal up the internal bleeding and heal the skin without a scar. She looked fragile, her skin pale with the amount of blood loss. An oxygen mask covered her lower face, her breath causing it to fog up. Her hair was pulled up and away from her body to keep it from interfering with the machine.

I heard footsteps approach, pulling myself away from the sight to see Director Jamison approach. For whatever reason he decided to shave his mustache off, his nose looking lonely and odd without it.

"How's she doing?" he asked, stopping next to me. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets, but his back was straight and well postured. It was hard to tell if he actually cared or if he was just making small talk with me. I brought my gaze back to Jac, watching the lights dance over her stomach.

"She'll get better," I answered quietly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the director turn towards me with a look of surprise. He probably wasn't expecting me to seem different compared to my usual self. I was surprised as well. "The doctor said that if we hadn't gotten her when we did, she probably would have died. The bullet had punctured through her gallbladder and small intestine. She was such a dumbass and almost got herself killed. I told her to stay out of harm's way, but she seemed to just run right into it."

"And it doesn't bother you at all that you nearly killed her?" Director responded after a short lapse of silence. I almost got a whiplash from how quickly I snapped my head to him, a glare sharp enough to kill a person on sight.

"Of course it bothers me! Just because I'm angry at her for what she did doesn't mean that I blame it all on her! I could have done more!" I argued back, getting looks from people passing by as my voice raised. The director side-eyed me.

"What more could you have done?" he inquired lowly. I paused, not really ever thinking of an example to the statement. I knew I could have- should have done more, but I didn't know what. Not shown up at her apartment at all? Requested to have gone out to eat instead? Stayed by her side instead of splitting up at the store? Why was Rizal in the store in the first place? Was it just a coincidence? Or something entirely different?

"I don't know," I admitted eventually, turning to watch the fragile girl in front of me. "There's something more I could have done though, I know it. Of course it bothers me. I feel like I'm to blame for this. I've been with her through the ins and the outs of this investigation. I'm close enough to her to know that I could have done more," I drifted off, realizing at that point I was rambling.

The director put a hand on my shoulder. We shared a moment of silence as I watched thin, metal cylinders pluck around the bullet wound. The room was clean. There was no blood than what had already stained her skin and clothes before she entered the hospital.

"Have you ever read the handbook?" the director asked out of the blue. I turned to give him a questioning look. He didn't turn towards me, keeping his eyes solely on the medical instruments being moved by the machine.

"Of course I haven't," I scoffed, looking back at Jac. Her eyelids twitched, watching them shift back and forth. She was dreaming about something.

"Part of the rules listed state that an agent is not allowed to fall in love or get involved sexually with another agent." I stilled at his words. How did one respond to that? It seemed I was walking into a lot of questions like that today.

I decided to stay silent, not giving him a yes, but definitely not giving him a no.

Because it was true: I was absolutely in love with Jacqueline Mullen.

Would I ever admit it first? Probably not. If she ever returned my feelings, then maybe there could be something more. I'm not the type of person to leap blindly in relationships. It seemed like it would be against what my personality states, but it was true. The woman had to make the first move for me to know it was worth something.

And in a way, she did make a first move. 'Why should I listen to the asshole that wouldn't kiss me?' Those words echoed with me, causing hope to rise. I knew now she at least wanted me to kiss her that night.

I gave her one last look, rubbing my head with the oncoming headache that she had caused. I glanced beside me, seeing the director no where in sight. He must have left while I was in thought. I mused. I gave a small groan as I twisted my back from the amount of time standing, feeling it crack in different places before settling again.

I walked away then, not looking back as I headed back to the duties that waited for me.