The Aftermath: a Dean Winchester Fanfic

chapter 12

[Dean]

"No way he's doing that, Crowley!" Sam yelled.

Crowley focused on me. "If Dean doesn't kill these people, then I will, and you'll be in the same situation. If Dean agrees and completes the task, Emery never spends a day in hell. I give you my word."

I swallowed a lump in my throat.

It was evil and wrong... but it would keep Emery alive. These people would probably die anyway.

But we need to save these people. It's we do. Killing these people would make me no better than Crowley.

Sam noticed my hesitation. "Dean, no." He said sternly. "This is the line between us and the things we hunt. We'll find another way."

I looked at Crowley, trying to keep a clear head. "Why? How does me killing these people benefit you in any way?"

"It will prove what I already know-- that the great Dean Winchester is nothing but a monster. You think you're too good any of this, Dean? That you and your brother have only ever saved people? That you have no sins? Fine, then walk out that door. But I think that when it comes down to it, you know that you're no better than the monsters you hunt. You know that you're a killer."

I paused. I couldn't argue with Crowley. He wasn't wrong. I always thought that I had been a killer... and Purgatory just confirmed it.

Sam walked over to me. "Dean, he's the King of Hell. He's lying. Let's save these people. We will figure out another way."

"Oh, shut it, Moose," Crowley said. "These three are basically already dead. All Dean would be doing is saving his little girlfriend."

"Dean, you are not a cold blooded killer. There is nothing in you that is not good." Sam said. "Please, don't do this."

I took a deep breathe and tried to ignore Sam. He wasn't making this any easier. I needed to do what I needed to do.

"I kill these three, and she lives? Emery gets to keep her soul, she never goes to hell, and the deals off?" I asked.

"Precisely," Crowley hinted at a smile.

"And if I don't kill them, you will?" I asked, just to make myself feel better.

"Yes. Now hurry up." Crowley replied irritably.

"Dean, we can save these people. Don't do this." Sam said.

"I need to save Emery, Sam. And the odds that we would save these three anyway..." my voice drifted off.

"Dean, this isn't you." My little brother pleaded.

I ignored him. My shoulders heavy with guilt, I pulled a gun out of my pocket.

"I have to do it for Emery." I said, my voice almost cracking.

I didn't want to do this. But what choice did I have?

Crowley was right. I am a monster.

Crowley took a step away and leaned against the wall. The arrogant grin on his face made me want to puke.

"You think you're doing this for her, Dean?!" Sam yelled. He tried to take the gun from me. I shoved him away.

"Sam, I can't let you stop me. Don't try. I don't want to hurt you." I said, trying to keep the emotion from my voice. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I just gotta save her."