In my feelings

2. AWAY

The view of the airport came clear as the car slowed down. My head was resting on the window, watching the droplets of rain falling on the windshield.

"We're here." I heard, sitting up straight as I grabbed my wallet. "That won't be necessary, love. Your parents have sorted that out." I smiled as I pulled out some extra change.

"Here's a tip then. An apology for my bland conversation."

He shook his head along with his hand as he refused, "No sweetheart, I can't accept that. You go off, busy time ahead of you."

He opened the car door as soon as we was parked in the waiting area of Heathrow. I let myself out too, after slipping the change into his taxi credit case. As I stepped out, I put on my coat over my clothes and grabbed my hand luggage.

I walked over to Daniel as he grabbed both my suitcases. I helped him place one down, rolling it with me to the entrance as he locked the car and rolled the other one towards me.

"Are you ready?" He politely smiled. He handed me the handle of the second suitcase and double checked I had the other one.

I breathed in slowly as I looked towards the cabinets inside the airport and back at him.

"I guess?" I chuckled slightly, feeling myself get slightly nervous all of a sudden.

"You'll do fine. Remember this is your dream. You've wanted this for a long time, darling. I remember when you were just a little girl and used to pretend I was driving you to New York every time I took you to school." We both chuckled as he rubbed my back gently before looking down at his watch and back at me.

"I better get going. Goodbye Miss Kent, I will let your parents know you've arrived safely."

"Thanks, Dan. I'll make sure to call you as soon as I'm back for holiday break and need a lift back home." I giggled, walking through the entrance doors whilst giving him a quick wave.

—

For a short minute, I panicked. I was lining up to check in and the atmosphere felt heavy. I was by myself, whilst others were either with friends or family or in the other independent cases, they were talking to someone over the phone. Unluckily for me, neither my friends or parents wanted to wake up this early to wish me good luck or make sure I was OK.

My parents had hurried their goodbyes last night, my mother of course claiming I'd be back in no time. For friends, I had spoken to Rachel slightly as it was getting late at that point and she ended up forgiving me for leaving and telling me to FaceTime her as soon as I arrived. Amy and James were too busy with each other, if you know what I mean. And Taylor.. nothing of course.

Before I could keep harassing myself and making myself feel worse about being alone, it was my turn to check in.

"Hello!" I smiled at the man sat at the desk.

Calm down Sky, you're way too happy for ten to six AM.

"Hello. Pass and passport please." He instructed, not bothering to look up at me as he indicated for me to put my suitcases on the line. As I did so, I quickly looked into my hand bag as I dug for my passport and ticket. Fuck.

Silence.

"Ma'am... Boarding pass and passport?"

My face burned red as soon as panic took over me and I looked all over my bag.  "I'm so sorry-" I apologised, my cheeks still steaming red.

Ah! Panic over.

I handed him everything as I felt myself sighing loudly and looking down as I noticed all the inpatient travellers around me.

He nodded. "No worries, all done for you. Have a great flight." He replied, tagging my bags as they went down the line.

"Thanks." I tried to smile, but all I wanted to do was shove myself inside my bag and stay there until everything was alright.

Which would be, at this rate, NEVER.

Before I realised, I was seating myself on the plane.
The plane ride was exactly 7 hours so I purposely hadn't slept most of the night, which meant I could most probably sleep the whole way through. I was sat beside the window luckily too.

I opened the window slide as I stared at the beautiful sunrise that was coming up. We hadn't started the travel yet, but the scenery still blew my mind.

The long, empty spaces, only guided with small lights on the ground. The heavy sunrise dominating the sky. I softly felt myself dozing off, all that crept through my mind were the beautiful sandstone and tuscan sun colours rising from the ground.

—

Arrival in NYC,  9PM

A bedroom. A bathroom. A small space with the living room and kitchen combined. A beautiful view.

A smashed window.

I dropped my bags as I closed the front door and ran over to the window opening towards the fire escape stairs. I looked at the glass and thought about what may of hit it. Maybe a rock. Maybe someone tried to break in?

I wasn't sure if it was the overall nerves kicking in of being alone for the first time but I felt myself become terrified as I grabbed my bags and headed to my room, quickly making sure everything was locked before I did so.

I stopped panicking over my imagination as soon as I came into my room and spotting my bed.

One thing my mum had refused not to do was the furniture organisation. She insisted that it was too important to have it wait, which from how jet lagged I was already, I was grateful for.

She promised to pick out the most simple furniture as possible. I looked around and surprisingly, she kept her promise.

All that was prepared in my room was a double bed with a grey head board, along with a dressing table in the middle of the room, against the wall. There was also two modern bedside tables on each side of the bed, with what I recognised as my own lamps from back home. I smiled at the thought. The wardrobe wasn't needed as there was a built in one. Everything in the house seemed at its minimalist. All it was missing was my small touches over time.

I put my bags to the side as I rested myself on the already made bed. I looked up at the ceiling.

To know I was here, and this is where it all began was, scary. I was alone in a city full of strangers. I had left with no compromises left behind. I was vulnerable in this city.

But for some reason, that made me more excited than anything. They would soon have a name, and I would settle in with different people than before. A city full of adventure. I couldn't hold on to the person I was before, because the place wasn't what it was before. New land, for a new person. It was time to grow on New York City. And I was ready.

It wasn't the end for me, as many had believed.

It was only the start.