Her Guardian (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

80: Nothing Else Matters.

"'Cause nothing else matters like us, And nothing else matters like love.. I don't wanna fight, not tonight, 'cause we're having fun now."

Song: Nothing else matters.
Artist: Little Mix.

Bitterness turned into embitterment as I lay down the comfortable bed without moving. The moon's lighted made a flawless flash of illumintion to light up the gloomy room. The soundlesness of the whole place made it hard for me to forget the uncomfortable thoughts that were running wild through my mind without stop. I couldn't help but let the flawlesness of a very familliar colour of greeness like the forest fill up my mind, which made my heart-beat to inerease and made me loose myself itno more thoughts once again.

Since Colton told me that he would let me see Harry for one last time; I couldn't help but let different senarios to run through my mind without stop. What I would do? What we would talk about? How was he going to deal with the situation we've been put in? My questions always faced the exact same fate; no answer just prespectives of my own mind trying to drow a prper picture of what would happen when I would meet Harry the next morning. And God, I couldn't help but let fear take over me, along with negative thoughts that shoumdn't take over my mind yet I couldn't help it.

Nevertheless, I thanked God for helping me through my hard times once again; just like the previous time. Then again, on the other hand I wasn't thankful about the fact that I would be away from Harry for three months. These thoughts of being away from him turned my stomach up-side down, making nervousness to take over and got the best of me. I remembered as thoughts from the last time Harry and I were away crossed my dizzy mind, making a tear to roll down my checks in sadness. My life isn't the same without Harry, the strenght his presence provide me made me weak and fragile when he is missing from my life. They way his smile light up my world in my darkest days is everything I could ask for. However, whenever Harry is away I got odd feelings flying down my stomach. Beside, my strenght strangely turns to weakness.

When I was little I got the chance to read a few books from my uncle's library. Althought I used to be beatened by my father due to my lack of obidience as he assumed, I always found a way to read a book every now and then, or maybe borrow it from the farm I used to work in. However, I always had a favorite type of books, which was romantic novels. The way the two main characters met one another in such an odd ways always fascinated me. The way their hatered turns into love and passion always made me wonder if that was true. Eventually, I had the answer to my must questioned question. Yes; it was true.

However, the feelings I felt toward Harry whenever he was around or not were quite the same as I read about in the past. He made me feel special just like the bad boy made a regular girl form his high school like a queen. The way he always fascinate me with his wonderful words were just like Romeo's words to his Juliet. He showed me love, the feeling that was always missing from my whole life. He showed me how to care about someone and to fear loosing them, something I wasn't aware of. The way Harry's existence in my life changed me into a good way, was unbeleievable. He rapped my naivty and turned me into someoneelse. Someone I personally wasn't aware of. I had never thoughts that the innocent Anastasia would be the way I was at that very moment; strong, lusty, brave and the most important thing is deeply in love. And I wouldn't complain about anything I shared with him, hell if I had the chance to live a lifetime with someone it would be him. And only him.

Nonetheless, I was afraid. 

Three months may be a very long period of time for Harry, but for me it would be a whole life time. I wasn't able to believe that I would be away, without him for all these time, and not even knowing what would happen afterwards. I wasn't spesifically sure of his point of view toward the situation we have been put through. What if he didn't accept to wait for me when I would get back? My mind was absolutely buzzing with those kind of questions making a terrible headache to build upon my mind. I tried my best to sop myself from letting those thoughts controlling my mind, yet I wasn't able to do so. I was held captive toward my fears which made me wide wake, doesn't even have the adacity to shut my eyes along with my mind for a mere second.