Hindsight

Illusion

Pain.

One just have to ride it out. Hope it all goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it, heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. Just breathe deep and wait for pain to subside.

Most of the time, pain can be managed. But sometimes, maybe even most of the time, pain attacks when one least expects it.

Pain.

One just have to fight through pain. Because the truth is, one can't outrun pain. And life always makes more of it.

Scars.

People have scars in all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret road maps of personal histories, diagrams of all of old wounds. Most of the old wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them, don't.

Some wounds are carried around everywhere and though the cut is long gone, the pain still lingers.

What is worse?

New wounds, that are so horribly painful, or old wounds, which should have healed years ago and never did.

Maybe the old wounds teaches something; reminding where it was obtained, how it was healed, lessons on what to avoid in the future.

But that's not always the case. Some things are meant to be learnt over and over and over again because that's just how life is.

Bad.

He feels bad. Not just bad, he feels extensionally horrible and guilty for what he has done, for the words he didn't have control of. Not only did he chastened himself by acting like a fool, he also humiliated his girlfriend - ex? - Erin by airing their dirty laundry in a very busy hospital.

She was begging him to stop, to quiet down because the waiting room in a hospital is no place for such drama and confrontation since she knows, she knows him all too well to know that he was going to explode.

It's what he does - build up all the angry and frustration inside, then once he's had enough, he's beyond vanquish, beyond his right mind.

What have he done?

He doesn't know. It all happened so quickly.

Are they over?

They're over.

What was he thinking?

He wasn't.

Bad.

But he does have the rights to be angry. Doesn't he? She cheated. That's the ultimate betrayal. She cheated. There's no taking back what she's done to them. She cheated. That's what she's done.

But why does he feel as though he's in the wrong?

He's the victim in all this. He's the right and they were the ones who has wronged him. Terribly terribly wronged him.

He didn't do anything wrong. At least he doesn't think he has.

Bad.

They were halfway down the hall - he thinks they were - his mind still adrift when he felt someone's hands grabbed him roughly without any warning. His back slammed into a wall with a huff.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Will's voice was loud, dark with rage. He's angry. He's angry at his brother. One, for embarrassing him at his place of work. Screaming, throwing punches and making a fool of himself in a hospital.