The Nexus

Chapter 19

This dream was different than the others, there were no beatings or pain. She was still scared, though, a feeling that she did not allow herself to feel in the real world.

This time she was herself, but not herself. It was like she was traveling through space, with stars all around her, but she was moving so fast at times that the stars would blur into long streaks of light. Then she would land with a jerk in her body. Every time she landed something different would be happening.

For example, once she stopped at she was running through a jungle half naked with a spear in her hand. When she looked around she could see other women around her who had all painted themselves green with camouflage strips of brown and black. She knew she was hunting and that they were going after a large bird that didn't actually fly.

She would hear a rushing of sound, be back whizzing through space and then land in another dream. This time she was dancing with a handsome man in a ballroom. The dress she was wearing was frilly and full. The man who was staring at her was her husband and she was a little afraid of him.

Whiz, bam! She was now a man herself and was sitting at a desk drawing a map based on a diary that was sitting next to her. She/he looked out the window of the little room she was in and could see the ocean outside. When she/he stood up to get a better look she could see ships outside with large sails and the people walking around at the dock were wearing clothes that looked like they were handmade of old burlap sacks.

It went on like this until she heard a familiar voice, "Emma, wake up." Thomas was saving her again, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to leave these wonderful dreams.

"Hey, Emma," she felt his hand stroking her arm and she opened her eyes. "You were sleeping pretty well. I didn't want to wake you up, but Joan asked me to try. Do you want to go back to sleep?"

Emma rolled onto her back and stretched. When she rolled, Thomas's hand slid across her stomach and she felt a little of that jolt again. She jerked to look at him and he was holding his hand up looking at it. They he looked back at her and they made eye-contact. She sat up quickly. There was a swirl of feelings inside her that she couldn't explain. The voices were back, but they were all talking gibberish and she put her head between her hands for a moment.

"Are you okay?" Thomas asked. He was being too gentle, too kind. She didn't deserve it, but even the thought that she didn't deserve something bothered her. She had never felt guilty, had never been a person who would not accept attention, or at least find a way to use attention to reach one of her goals.

Thomas put a hand on her shoulder and she shrugged it off, "I think I need to go," she said and stood up.

"Come on, Emma," he said. His voice was irritated like someone dealing with a three-year-old who was constantly throwing a fit. "You came all this way, just go hear Joan out. Where are you going to go anyway?"

Emma paced the tiny room while Thomas sat on the bed and watched her. It was like the dream had turned up the voices in her head, even adding more little squeaky ones that wanted their share of her psyche.

"Fine, Thomas, but if Joan can't help me, I will have to go," she said. What she didn't mention was that she would have to go somewhere that they didn't mind insane people. Maybe check herself into a mental hospital and just let what happens happen.

Thomas went up and opened the door, "Follow me then."

They walked down the long hallway. There was no more light coming in from the outside and Emma realized that it must be late. "Joan said that you hid and then hiked to a safe place in Yellowstone," she said.