Waking Shadows

Chapter 21 All out of harbouring

Chapter 21

All out of harbouring

I learned Lyndon had gone a few days after he had left. Drake still wasn’t talking to me after he learned about Skyler. He was upset that I had not told him, and that he had found out by Lyric instead. He was angry with me for putting Lyndon first, again.

“You’ve got to stop chasing after him. I know you care, but you need to start looking after yourself now. I know he’s your half- brother but you don’t owe him anything. You have both tried so hard at making this thing work, and you have. But now there’s no more room. Look how less you see of Carl since he’s had his family. Well it will be the same for you, Lyndon, and Lyric.”

“Drake, of course there’s room. He’s my family. Some bonds just can’t be broken.”

“And what kind of bond are you referring to, Anna?”

“That’s low, Drake. I will not talk to you like this. I couldn’t tell you about Skyler, the decision was not mine to make,” I cried at my wits end.

“I’m your fiancé, Anna. Surely that must come first. Sure, I understand you don’t want things getting out, but who am I gonna tell?”

“Why are you being like this with me?”

“I’m sorry, Anna . . . you’ve been different ever since you arrived back. I just don’t know what that means. This is what I’ve been afraid of.”

“My love for you has not changed, it’s only grown stronger. And this baby inside me means everything. It will be loved so much. I admit I’m scared, but since when has that stopped me doing anything?”

“You’ve been so distant. It’s like you’re not connected to me anymore—not like you were. I would prefer it if you would stay away from them now . . . for a while.”

“Drake, you can’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m not. I’m asking,” he replied quietly in submission to the no-use conversation.

“I need some air, Drake.” I didn’t know what else to say or do in his presence. I threw on my coat and headed out to my car. I didn’t care if he was watching me, I didn’t look back. I’d had enough of the heaviness that was now suffocating me and longed to feel as free as I had when I was travelling.

I decided to just drive. Drive wherever my subconscious would take me. My mind wasn’t paying attention to exactly where I was travelling and I ended up somewhere near the harbour, where Lyndon used to work. It held great memories as it was a special place for Lyndon. He loved working there and was so proud when he was accepted there.

   Now, I stood next to the harbour deck looking out over the shore. All I could see was the occasional twinkle from the lights coming from the ships, which were darted about far and wide. The moon shone enough light for me to see the mix of navy blues in the sky—reminding me of spilled ink merging itself together. The whooshing of the water caught my breath and reminded me of where I actually was, as I got lost into my own sea of thoughts.

   I saw Lyndon working hard by the dock. And then I saw him fixing up parts of the broken boats as my mind drifted away to a dormant memory. I closed my eyes and imagined him here in front of me, working up a sweat. His wet and sandy skin glistened like diamonds as the sun shone down on him. That image was stolen from one of my many memories of him that I’d locked away in my heart. I had often visited him down here and stood in this very same spot, watching him in awe. He didn’t always know it, but it was a useful and fulfilling pass time of mine.