Waking Shadows

Chapter 20 Someplace else

Chapter 20

Someplace else

I opened my eyes and realised Anna had gone – my heart sank. I disliked being so brash with her, but it seemed to be the only way I could break the tie that binds us. It was true though, my mother was my priority at that moment. I had been extremely worried about mother’s reaction to the news, more over any feelings I had about it. I am sure even her beliefs and abilities would not be enough to get her through this one. For how much she had always declared her love for Skyler, I think this could just about be the finish of her. And I would rather Skyler really had of died than have my mother suffer at his survival all these years after.

   Sitting all alone in the dark, I had already decided before Anna dropped by, to leave. She had her own life to live now, there was no stopping it. She did not need me here in her way. Drake had finally got a full grip on her and my brotherly love could not come close. Deep down, I knew I still had a love for Anna that could out do his a million times over, but that was not my place now. It was unbelievable that everybody so readily accepted we were over it. That our love had just switched itself off. Maybe some love’s you can switch off – but then maybe that’s not love at all.

   I switched the electrics off and drew the curtains. After locking up, I headed through the trees and out through the other side of the woods. I drove to Marcus’s house and sat waiting for a sign to show me he was still up. Eventually, the upstairs bathroom light flickered on. I rushed up the steps and knocked before the light was turned off. I was desperate to talk to Marcus before I left. He always had a way of getting into my psyche, just a little bit, which was more than anyone else could manage.

   He answered the door wearing his pyjamas – thick paisley, which aged him by 10 years. He took a step back in surprise to see me.

“Lyndon  . . . what’s wrong?”

“I have to go. The consequence of my actions will be too unbearable. I cannot stay here and watch.”

“Listen to yourself, son. All you’ve ever done is run away.” He moved aside to let me in. I knew he had half expected my visit as we had not ended our last conversation well. He knew me well and knew I would not leave it like that.

“You have used your upbringing and lifestyle as a cover, but what you’re really running away from is the truth. The fact that you left Skyler on that Island proves it.”

“This is not about Skyler.”

“He is the truth you have been searching for, for so long. Explain your need of absence to me then, because I don’t understand it.”

“There are bigger things to deal with.”

“Oh, like Rosanna. Of course! It’s always about Rosanna, isn’t it? You’re not seeing the bigger picture, son. You need to deal with it a step at a time.”

“That is what I am trying to do. Do you think I have not spent enough time doing so?” I scoffed, tears escaping my eyes.

“By running away?” he replied sarcastically.

“No. I am going to find mother. I have to tell her. I cannot deal with Skyler until mother has—”

“Until mother has told you what to do? Be a man, Lyndon. Do what you want to do. Do what’s right, not what Maya tells you to do. Do what you feel in your heart, because that is what’s right.”

“Maybe, eventually that will be what I want. But I am surrounded by people who will be hurt by my actions, even though my intention was always good. I am the only person who knows of the storm. Nobody else can hear the low rumbles in the distance. I can. I can feel them.”