Her lovely ways

Drop-dead beauty

I sat next to Emma on a very gloomy day. My life was empty, I felt every burden around me getting heavier and surrounding me with its unhappiness. Beginning first period,everyone was out still and the class was empty. I got a sudden push to sit closer to her and I did. She was looking at her year book. Her eyes big and wild moving through the pictures as she listened to me speak,"I wanted to ask you,are we still friends,or do I creep you out?". I felt like my words would've enhanced more sadness than anxiety. Her eyes still on the book as she said to me,"Well my friends are people I have known for so long,people become my friends if they have my same traits." answer too long but long enough that my heart did not wonder into the hooligans of tears. A little happier,and my heart more joyous,but the day went by slow because my heart jumped for her. As I spoke to her and listens to her, I looked at her gorgeous lovely face. The words moved impatiently through her lips. Her eyes calmly still and yet moving,her cheeks and face structure loving I in a way,full of expression and beauty, Emma was just a dream.

The next day arrived and I have received my year book, I asked, as we say alone again,"Do you want to sign my year book?""No thank you." A sudden impulse of reject thrived through me but I let out a little giggle and said okay. I was disappointed but I felt a little joy in my heart.

My thoughts through the day maintained on her and I got a sudden thought of how maybe she might feel the same towards me but is trying to avoid it and get it through her head that I'm just nonsense,maybe,it is just a thought.

I feel as if I am deeply passionate about her,as if my heart wants only her. She's love but I have to let her go. After the reject day, I saw glimpse of her. I thought of random thoughts that made my conscience give a small laughter,thoughts that gave a hopeful possibility to my heart. Maybe the reason why she didn't speak to me,my mind summarized all thoughts and then I had the most sufficient idea to our possibility,an idea to her beauty and reasons and justification and character,i had an idea why she acted the way she did,shes running away from what she feels,running away from possible disapproval ,from her true self.

She has not gotten the chance to know me well to understand why under any circumstance I am a lesbian. She doesn't understand that I M passionate with my God with His love and the truth she doesn't know that if He made us who we are id because He knows what we will want. He created us with possibilities and a real focused conscience,He made us believe in ourselves,He made us strong and to stand for what we know is true,He made me to love. I'm in love with her but she pulls back for. What is really true,from what God really gave her, or maybe it's just a false prediction.

I wish I can read her mind,then I'll know what wonders in her thoughts. I wish to know what she thinks when I speak to her. I wish to be her warmth in the cold and tell her of her beautiful angelic beauty.

-----wow speechless hahaha