PARKER AND HOLLAND IMAGINES

FALLING APART - PETER

The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. As she walked down the hall hugging her books close to her chest, her mind raced. He had bolted again, and Y/N had no idea where he had gone off to. Peter had left her hanging high and dry for the umpteenth time, and she had no idea what to do.
Given no reasonable explanation, Y/N's mind wandered the worst possibilities to explain Peter's constant disappearances.
Cheating.
She knew Peter wasn't of the sort, but he had just... taken off without reasonable explanation. She had spent months staying silent, willing herself to trust that Peter was off doing something important enough that he was forced to leave halfway through the only time you ever got to spend together. But in her attempt at convincing herself of what she wanted to believe, Y/N left herself vulnerable and susceptible to the attacks of her inner demons.
He found someone better.
He no longer wants you.
You're foolish to have ever though he ever wanted you.
They sneered, driving her to tears night after night for weeks. Y/N had decided, that her silence would no longer suffice and she was going to demand an explanation from Peter. She wasn't sure if Peter could see it, but her unasked questions, rolling around in her skull, were tearing her apart. She wasn't sure if Peter could see it, but their relationship was falling apart. Peter was the love of Y/N's life, she cared deeply for him. But she had decided, that if Peter couldn't give her straight answers, and answers that made sense to her questions, she would have to do what she needed to do in order to relieve her heart from its constant ache.
Y/N walked out of the school's main exit and spotted Peter waiting for her, his usual wide smile gracing his face as he spotted her. Y/N's heart broke a little; this surprised her. An action that usually warmed her heart at first sight, caused it to pain more than it already was. As she approached Peter, he noticed the look on her face. She looked... tired. Pained. Heartbroken.
"Y/N, babe, are you—" Y/N held her hand up, stopping Peter from asking his question.
"We will not do this here." Y/N's voice was... waving, and breaking, almost as though she was on the verge of tears.
What did I do wrong? Peter asked himself. Ironically enough, so did Y/N. She blamed herself for Peter's constant disappearances. She blamed herself for her deteriorating relationship.
He doesn't want to spend time with me anymore. But why?
What did I do wrong? She had asked herself countless nights in a row as the hot tears had rolled down her cheeks and as she stared at the roof of her ceiling in her bedroom.
Y/N began to walk in the direction of her home, which wasn't located too far from the school. The entire walk there, Y/N refused to even glance at Peter, fearing that if she did, she would cry a river of tears. While Y/N refused to look at him, Peter couldn't stop himself from looking at her. He had never seen Y/N like this before. She looked miserable. Hurt. Tired. Was this his doing? What had happened after he left last night?
The pair arrived at Y/N's home, thick silence remaining untouched as they walked into the house. The house was empty, her parents were to return later in the day and her siblings were occupied with after school activities, allowing Peter and Y/N to have the privacy they needed. Y/N set her bag next to the main couch in the living room. She turned on her heel to face Peter.
"I have questions." She stated trying to hide the fact that at any given moment she could burst into tears. Peter nodded at her statement. Then silence. Y/N was stuck, her words catching in her throat.
"Y/N, what's wrong?" Peter asked, his voice filled with concern and eyes flashing with worry. Just those words caused the tears she'd been withholding to spill. Her hand rose to cover her mouth to prevent the sounds of her sobs from echoing around the space. Peter's eyes widened and he quickly moved to wrap his arms around Y/N, but she refused. She shook her head and took a step back from him, leaving Peter astonished.
"Do you care, Peter?" Y/N asked as she looked into Peter's eyes, her salty tears rolling past her cheeks and splattering into her neck.
"Of course I care!" Peter quickly answered staring back into Y/N's eyes.
"See, that's the thing though. You don't care. Why don't you care? I've given you all of me. There's nothing more I can give you." Y/N said heavily through her tears.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. Babe, what is this about. Tell me. Please, what did I do?" Peter looked as though he was about to cry too, the mere sight of Y/N's tears shredding his heart into pieces. Y/N was shocked. Did he really just ask what he did wrong?
"What did you do? Are you that oblivious to your own actions? Peter, I cannot do this anymore. I can't."
"Do what, Y/N? Us?" Peter asked worriedly.
"You disappear all the time. You never answer my calls, or texts. I bet you didn't know I had a panic attack the other day after school. You tell me that-that we have all the time in the world together, but then you... you leave me. You leave me without any explanation and-and you never ever give me a reasonable excuse or anything. I want to trust you, I do Peter. But I can't do this anymore, my heart can't take this anymore. I've cried myself to sleep for weeks, blaming myself and telling myself that I'm the reason you keep leaving. That you don't want to spend time with me. Or-or that I was stupid to think that you could ever love me back. That you only said 'I love you' back to me because you felt like you had to. I asked myself or weeks, 'is it my fault?' 'Did I do something wrong?'" Y/N paused to breathe in and wipe her falling tears. "I even resorted to thinking that you may have found someone better and-and that I was no longer worth your time."
"I'm not that kind of person, Y/N."
"I know. But that didn't stop the fact that I didn't and still don't have answers. Without your knowledge, this relationship has been falling apart. And while it crumbles, so does my heart. I feel so lied to, Peter. Each time you stood me up, each time you left me halfway through a date, each time you didn't return my class or texts, you chipped away at me. I've put one hundred and ten percent into this relationship and it just doesn't feel like you want to put any effort or time into us." Again, Y/N paused to breathe and to wipe her tears. "So, that all being said, I want you to be honest with me. What is it? What is going on with you? Why do you abandon me like this? I've given you my heart, something I hang onto for dear life and you just... crush it. Why? Why, Peter, why?" Y/N hiccuped as another wave of tears hit.
Peter looked heartbroken. He had no idea what to do, or to say. He felt awful. "I-I want to tell you, Y/N. I really do, believe me. But you wouldn't believe me if I did." Peter said nervously.
"Of course you can't. It's okay, Peter. It really is." Y/N sniffled as she wiped her tears away, none following the wiped tears.
"Really?"
"It is. Yes. Because until you feel like this relationship is worth your honesty; until you feel like my heart—my love for you— is all worth revealing your big secret, we can't be together anymore." Y/N said.
"Y/N, come on—" Peter's voice was shaky and you could see the tears brimming in his eyes. Y/N's had finally stopped.
"I've made my demands clear, Peter." Y/N said sternly, her vulnerability hidden behind a mask of confidence. Peter stared at her, his eyes reflecting the conflict within him and his eyes brimmed with un-shed tears. He curtly nodded and picked his bag up off the floor and slung it over his shoulder. He walked towards the door and Y/N followed. She watched him walk out the door, but before he made his way down the sidewalk, he turned back towards her.
"I do care about you, Y/N. And I do Love you. I meant it every time I said it, I mean it every time I say and I will mean it when I say it in the future again." Y/N held her head high and purses her lips. She backed up, and shut the door. Upon its closing, Peter remained staring at the door for a few moments before walking onto the sidewalk while Y/N's back pressed up against the door. The tears she had desperately been trying to prevent from falling did as they pleased as they rolled down her cheeks once again in a steady stream. Her sobs raked through her body and she didn't stop the sounds from rippling throughout the space of her home. Her legs gave in and her back slid down the door until she was on the ground.
Her heart had been broken by the one person she'd ever given it to.
She had fallen apart.
written by tommoholland2013 on tumblr