PARKER AND HOLLAND IMAGINES

A TINY BIT JEALOUS - PETER

Crushing on your best friend is hard. Crushing on your best friend and watching them fall in love with someone else is infinitely worse.
That was how you lived your life. You had been irrevocably in love with Peter Parker since the sixth grade. But you sat idly by and listened to him gush about Liz Allen, Midtown's prettiest and smartest senior. It also didn't help that she was incredibly nice, you couldn't hate her even if you tried. Day in and day out, you bit your tongue as Peter ranted about how beautiful he thought she was.
Which is exactly what he was doing at lunch that day. Ned, your's and Peter's other best friend, sat beside Peter at your normal table. You chose the seat opposite them and, as usual, Michelle was at the other end by herself, nose embedded deep into a book.
"She's just so..." Peter trailed off with a dreamy look on his face. You gave him a tight-lipped smile, sharing a silent conversation with Ned. He knew of your obvious feelings for Peter, the whole school knew. Except for the science nerd in question, who was so blind to your affections you wondered if he needed to see a doctor.
"I like Liz as a friend and all, but I don't think she's right for you." Ned began, and you shot him a look that screamed 'shut up now'. Peter's head snapped towards him, disbelief written on his features.
"What? Why not?" Peter asked. Approval from his friends meant a lot to him. You glared at Ned, taking a bite out of your apple without saying a word.
"Because I know someone who likes you." Ned blurted and you internally screamed. Ned was infamous for being unable to keep secrets. You were surprised he was able to keep your feelings a secret for so long.
"That's an understatement." Michelle snorted, her gaze not leaving her book once. Traces of a blush began to form on your cheeks and you felt your mouth go dry. Michelle had pieced your feelings for Peter together on her own, but you knew she wouldn't say anything about it—as long as she wasn't asked.
"Who?" Peter asked, now fully investing his attention to what Ned had to say. Ned glanced quickly at you, and you feigned interest as a way to not seem suspicious. Thankfully, Michelle was staying out of the conversation.
"I promised I wouldn't say anything and you know I'm trying to work on the whole 'secret-keeping' thing." Ned rambled, trying to dig himself out of the hole he made. Peter gave him a look of disbelief, like he couldn't understand why his best friend was keeping something as important as someone crushing on him a secret.
"Before either of you start insulting each other with elements off of the periodic table, I'd like to remind you the bell is about to ring." You butted in, and as if it was on cue, the shrill ringing pierced through the cafeteria prompting you to stand up quickly and walk ahead of the boys. If Ned did end up cracking and spilling your secret, you did not want to be there.

"I'm just saying, Yoda could have picked a better time to die." You argued from your spot on Peter's couch, your friends flanking you on either side. You spent countless hours in this apartment, considering Peter had been your best friend since forever and your parents were rarely ever home. You didn't mind though, the Parkers were more than kind to you.
Tonight had been one of your regularly scheduled movie nights at Peter's. You sat with your legs crossed, arms making wide gestures as you spoke. Ned opened his mouth to debate, but was cut off when May swung open the front door, a box of pizza balancing in one hand while she tried to get her key out of the lock.
"Hey, May." Peter called, instantly jumping up from his spot on the couch next to you to help his aunt. You smiled lightly to yourself, always loving when Peter showed thoughtfulness towards his aunt and other people.
Ned, noticing you staring, elbowed you in your ribs before Peter saw. You blushed, but were nonetheless thankful for Ned pointing it out. It would have been so much worse if Peter had caught you.
"So, (Y/n)," May began, and you twisted around on the couch to face her as she leaned against the table in the kitchen. May was, for lack of better phrase, a cool aunt. She had always acted as a stand in parent you could look up to, which you had always been grateful for. "Have you gotten a dress for homecoming yet?" You tensed slightly, eyes darting to Peter for a quick moment. He coughed, choking on the slice of pizza he had stolen from the box.
"Actually, I don't know think I'm going." You shrugged, picking at the chipping paint on your nails. Truth be told, you wanted to go to the dance, but you wanted Peter to go with you. And, since he failed to ask you yet, you had resigned yourself to not even going.
"What? Why not?" May asked. You shrugged once again, getting up to walk over to the kitchen table. You didn't really want to stay on the topic anymore, all it did was remind you of your feelings towards Peter that weren't reciprocated.
"B-but it'll be fun." Peter tried to reason with you, a deer-in-headlights look on his face. You flashed him a tight-lipped smile. Leaning slightly to your left, you nudged Ned with your shoulder to gesture towards him.
"I'm just waiting for the right guy to ask me." You finished off your sentence with a playful glare at Ned, who laughed in return. Although there was some major truth behind your sentence, you played it off liken you were waiting for Ned to ask you. You felt May staring holes into the side of your head, and when you met her gaze, her eyes darted between you and Peter, with her brows raised in a questioning matter. You bit your lip, silently willing her not to say anything.
Apparently, everyone could see you loved Peter.
Except Peter.

A few days after you had declared you wouldn't be going to homecoming, you sat in Peter's room doing your homework as he sat at his computer desk on his phone, having finished his a while ago. Usually he helped you with yours, but a text he had received was apparently more interesting.
"How do you do math?" You groaned out, dropping your pencil onto the paper. Peter didn't spare you a glance, which annoyed you. His attention was on his phone, which made you slightly jealous the device was getting more attention than you.
Peter Parker made you jealous of a phone.
"Parker!" You called out, unsuccessfully, as he still ignored you. It wasn't until the third time you called his name did he look up, a goofy grin mixed with excitement plastered across his face as he met your gaze. You felt your heart pound in your chest and your mood become giddy as you took in his slightly messy hair and ruffled sweater. He looked adorable, and without even saying anything he made you fall in love with him all over again.
"You will never guess what just happened." He spoke up, breaking you from your trance. You quirked a brow, waiting for him to reveal what had just gotten him in such a good mood. "I just asked Liz to homecoming and she said yes!" You felt your heart sink into your stomach at those words. But, being the good friend you were, you forced a smile onto your face, not trusting yourself to speak without your voice cracking. You turned back to your homework in an attempt to hide the tears beginning to form.
The boy you loved was completely enamored with someone else.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Peter asked. For once, he wasn't being completely oblivious. But you wish he was. You felt completely stupid as your heart shattered. You knew he deserved to be with someone he liked, but you couldn't help but want that person to be you and not her. You couldn't even hate Liz, she was pretty and smart and everything you thought you weren't.
"I'm just not feeling too great, I'm gonna go home." You lied, stuffing your books into your bag without meeting his concerned stare. You knew you would be putty in his hands if you looked into the beautiful brown eyes that held so much worry for your well-being.
God, why does he have to be so nice? You internally ranted.
"(Y/n)." Peter said, grabbing your wrist to stop you from packing up. Your heart raced in your chest and your skin burned from his touch but you tried not to focus on it. Now was not the time to be distracted by him. "Are you okay? Do you need me to walk you home?" You briefly met his gaze, but dropped your head back down when you realized he noticed the tears welled up in your eyes.
"I'm fine. My stomach hurts, that's all." You muttered as you tried to rip your wrist from his grasp, but he held tight. He wasn't hurting you, and you knew he would never try to. You weren't completely lying with what you said. Your stomach did hurt, but it was because the fact you had just lost Peter—your best friend since childhood—to Liz, was hitting you in waves, each stronger than the last. You felt like you were going to be sick. You were genuinely heartbroken, but you were upset that Peter could have this effect on you—without even officially being together. You were in deep, and you didn't see a way out.
"You're not fine and you're not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." Peter tried to put force behind his words, but his 'in control' demeanor immediately faltered when your head snapped up to him. By now, anger had mixed with your sadness. Frustration with the whole situation had built up and you wanted nothing more than to leave Peter's apartment and never come back.
"Peter. Let me go." You hissed and Peter immediately dropped your hand. Instead, he opted to block your path out of his room. You didn't mean for it to come out so rude, but your patience had run out quicker than usual. You didn't know if you were mad at yourself for investing so much of your heart in Peter or if it was because he was so blind to your affections.
"Just tell me what's wrong. I want to help." Peter's voice was barely above a whisper. It was as if he was afraid that if he spoke any louder he would upset you more. You ran a hand down your face, you didn't see any other way out of this situation.
"I like you, okay? A lot. And it physically hurts me to sit there everyday at lunch and in gym and in every other freaking class and listen to you go on and on about Liz. So, excuse me for trying to not rain on your parade and leave before I let my emotions go crazy, but clearly that didn't work!" Your voice grew louder with each word, and by the end you were practically yelling. The tears that had brimmed in your eyes earlier had finally escaped when you mentioned Liz, and now a steady stream of tears left wet tracks down your cheeks.
A moment passed in silence and you waited for Peter to say anything. He stood ramrod straight, a shocked expression on his face. Another minute passed and neither of you had said anything. Three minutes. Four. He said nothing, and the silence broke you.
"I should leave." You finally spoke up in a weak voice. This time, Peter didn't protest. All he did was step to the side, finally letting you through.
And you left without another word.

written by Petertheparkers on tumblr