Broken Doll {ManxMan}

CHAPTER 10

It was different next time I woke up. Instead of feeling heavy, like I was floating on salt water with the constant worry of sinking, I felt light, refreshed in a way, though my body was aching and my head felt strange. The room smelt of roses and spice, and it had my breath hitching as I opened my eyes, rubbing at them with my fingers. The movement made me wince and jerk my hand away, my brows drawing down when I saw the bandages wrapped around my hands and fingers. There was no part of my arm not free of bandages, and it made me wonder.

The entire time I'd been recovering, I'd been catatonic. I remember hearing Arthur mention my condition, but I never really saw myself or understood just how bad everything was. The top half of my bed was still elevated slightly, so it was easy to look down at my torso, which was wrapped in thick bandages. It must have been serious, because I wasn't even wearing a shirt.

I wasn't wearing pants either, which of course made me feel even more humiliated. Was I really that beaten up? There were several layers covering me, sheets and soft blankets stacked on top of each other to keep me warm, pulled up to my midsection. Both of my arms were lying on top of the blankets. There were several IV's in my right arm and the back of my right hand, but my left was being held in the firm grip of a man I thought was dead.

Tobias appeared to be sleeping, his head pillowed on his arm and turned towards me, but when I moved his eyes popped open and he lifted his head just enough to smile at me, squeezing my hand and kissing my bandaged knuckles.

"How do you feel?" he asked me, and I looked around the room dizzily before lifting a hand to my chest to touch the bandages.

"I... don't know," I admitted, my voice scratchy, "Is... am I dreaming still?"

Tobias shook his head, one hand lifting to take my chin with his fingers, holding me still so he could lean up and kiss me softly. My eyes rolled shut and my mouth went slack against his, my hand lifting to card through his black hair, a sigh falling from me.

"It's real," I whispered when he pulled back, making him laugh, though he still looked pained as he sat on the edge of my bed, as close to me as he could get.

"It's real, Carter. I'm real, the rebellion is real, you're safe now," something seemed to break in his eyes, and he took a shaky breath, "Carter I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I was out of the country on business, I didn't get your message until a few days ago, these past few months have been agonizing. I wanted to come get you, but I couldn't. I knew it was dangerous, I would do you no good if I got myself killed trying to storm the base, and I had no real evidence that you were in trouble. I should have listened to my instincts."

I shook my head slowly, rubbing his arm in a vain attempt to reassure him, "This was bound to happen sometime," I admitted, "I couldn't hide forever, I was going to slip up, I just... I figured I'd have time to get away before they really got me. I didn't expect... anything this extensive," I pulled a little at the bandages around my wrist, sighing and lying my head further back against the pillows.

"You thought I was dead," Tobias said, and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I nodded, "Why?"

"Bay found out," I said softly, "About us. Our last call, Cooper caught me, he heard me talking to you, and I knew I was going to be in a lot of trouble, but I figured if Cooper hurt me or made me bleed, then that would distract Bay long enough for me to get away. I was right at least; Cooper pistol whipped me in front of Bay, so Bay shot him, but before that, Cooper planted a seed of doubt that ruined me, claimed I was betraying Bay and had been for years.

"Instead of sending me to get patched up, he grabbed me, dragged me to his room so he could ask me what the hell was going on. Earlier that day was when I got back from Italy, only to find Dakota and Demi, and got them out for a third time," I sighed, closing my eyes, "There wasn't much else I could do, so I gave them the Jeep and just... decided to accept whatever happened. I didn't... expect it though... what Bay did..."