Broken Doll {ManxMan}

CHAPTER 20

I'd returned to my head by the time I woke up the next morning. I'd missed at least two meals, my stomach was an abyss filled with banshees, and my eyes burned from the tears I'd shed the day before, but before I could even sit up, intending to take a shower to wash the tears from my cheeks, Tobias had a hand on my face.

His eyes were hard, but understanding at the same time, filled with pain and regret, as if he blamed himself for me nearly killing myself. I guess I should've expected him to confront me about it, putting an arm around my shoulders and pulling me to sit while he placed himself in front of me. As much as I wanted to shove all of this deep down where it couldn't be seen, as much as I wanted to forget, that wasn't fair to Tobias, and frankly it wasn't fair to do to myself either.

"Tell me what happened," he ordered simply, not as a request, but a necessity, and I dropped my head, shaking it and rubbing my eyes.

"I don't know, Tobias."

"Bryn said Cormac confronted you when you left the conference hall. You looked frightened, so Bryn had Sasha drag him away while Bryn brought you back here. Then you tried to jump out the window," I flinched and covered my face with both hands, shaking my head again.

"He tried to kiss me," I managed to get out without much hesitation, "The other day when you were telling Kailas the situation with Diego Manuela and told me to come back here, instead I followed music to the library, and he was there, and...," I pulled my hands away and looked at my husband fearfully, "I pushed him away, I promise! He didn't kiss me, he just tried, and I pushed him and fell off the bench before he could! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I should have come straight back to the room, it's my own fault for putting myself in that position, I didn't know he felt that way! Please don't be mad, I didn't-."

"Okay, okay, easy, take a breath," Tobias chided, his hands lifting to hold my face, placing his forehead against mine, "Just breathe, calm down, and listen. I'm not mad at you. Alright? I am not mad at you in any way, I'm not even a little irritated at you for what happened. I am not mad. The person I'm mad at is Cormac. He had no right to even attempt something like that. What moron wouldn't notice how sensitive you are to people getting close? Even worse, the idiot didn't notice you were wearing a wedding ring?"

I felt myself chuckle in unease and anxiety at that, looking down at the diamond ring on my hand, "Maybe he didn't want to notice," I suggested, looking back up at Tobias, "He knows now at least."

He hummed, pushing my hair back, "So you were scared that I would find out, scared I would be mad and what? That I would leave you?" I pressed my lips tightly together and looked down, because hearing it out loud did make it sound pretty ridiculous, "I would never leave you Carter, least of all because some former pilot tried to take advantage of you. Hey," he tilted my chin up so our eyes could meet, "I will never leave you, Carter. So, you have to promise not to leave me either. Don't ever try a stunt like that again."

I felt myself shake, "I don't know if I can control it," I admitted weakly, "I didn't even realize I was halfway out the window until Bryn grabbed me. It was like I wasn't even the one moving, some other... thing had control of my body. I got so scared I shut down and let something or someone else take over to fix it."

Tobias frowned at that, breathing out through his nose before placing a weak smile onto his lips, "Then I guess I really can't leave you without supervision, can I?"

I leaned closer and placed my head on his chest, "The thought of you rejecting me was almost too much."

"We're married, my love," Tobias reminded, raking his fingers through my hair, kissing my temple, "I would never reject you, especially now."