Broken Doll {ManxMan}

CHAPTER 32

"Carter, let's play ispy!" I could hear Bay's voice urging me from the other seat in the back of the car, his mother laughing from the driver's seat as my father asked what that was, if it was a game, but when I turned my head to look, none of them were there in the car with me.

Instead I found the seat beside me empty, while the driver's seat in front of me was occupied by Dakota, and the shotgun taken by Demi, who was slouching against the window with a bored expression reflected in the glass. I dropped my head to look down at my hands folded in my lap, staring at the ring on my left hand to calm down before glancing back out the window to watch the landscape fly by.

That was starting to happen a lot it seemed, remembering things from my past, literally hearing voices when those people weren't even there. It must have been psychological due to my trauma, that's what I figured, and I was increasingly more anxious for Adalwolf to get there, as I really, really needed to talk to him.

To keep myself from going completely insane, I clutched my hands together, swallowing the pit in my throat and tuning in to the conversation Demi and Dakota were having in the front, silently hoping they wouldn't mind me listening in.

"Abrams, Smith, and Shay aren't too happy," Dakota was saying, scratching his neck with one hand on the wheel, "With how Cormac went I mean. Can't blame 'em, first they lost Jayden, now Cormac, they're the only ones left."

"They can just deal with it," Demi mumbled, eyes closed, "If they keep trying to leave on secret missions to attack the new government I'm gonna break all their legs."

"Well how would you react if your best friend had been killed?"

Demi didn't answer, and I lifted my head, stuttering my way into their conversation, "Wh-who are you talking about?"

"Three people who were friends with Cormac since before the bombs fell," Dakota answered nonchalantly, "Those three, with Cormac and Jayden, had been in the Air-force together, and managed to stay together till now. Cormac and Jay are gone now, so it's just them. It was pretty hard when Jay died, but Cormac kept them together somewhat, now they're just a bunch of rogues."

"Don't worry about it," Demi added before I could react, looking at me through the rear view mirror, "It's not your concern, or your fault. Discourse within the soldier ranking is natural in any form of military, especially a rebellion. Some people are mad about Cormac, some people are mad about the Asper joining us, at our base no less, some people aren't happy that the Syndicate is coming, but in the end it doesn't matter. If they want to get anywhere with this war, we need to form alliances, and sacrifices might be made."

"Yea, it's inevitable," Dakota agreed, meeting Demi's eye for a fraction of a second before they both focused on the road, "People die, we move on, find strength from how they lived and use their memory as fuel to keep fighting. If people are going to just sulk and complain because they're pissy that their friend is dead, then they aren't focusing on the big picture."

"But... they were friends," I found myself murmuring, looking down at my hands, "I'd focus on my friends too, if I lost them like that. I technically already did, when I thought Tobias was..."

"Your response to losing a friend, quote friend, was to go catatonic," Dakota stated, and Demi swung an arm out to punch him, making him crumple and whine, reaching over to rub his shoulder, "Fucking owe."

"It's fine, Carter," Demi assured, shooting Dakota a scolding glare, "You're not gonna lose anyone now. Everyone will be fine."

He sounded sure of himself, like he'd already made the decision to single-handedly keep everyone safe without help from anyone, and it didn't exactly make me feel any better about the situation, but I just bowed my head a little to look at my hands, at the ring on my finger, slowly turning them so my palms were facing up.