No More No More

Secret

     "When are you leaving?" I ask.

     Anthony stops picking at his guitar to answer me.  "I'm driving up Monday."  I don't say anything and leave shortly afterward.

--

The following day, I climbed down to Anthony's window (much faster than taking the main stairs) but hesitated when I heard shouting.

     "What the fuck is that supposed to mean to us?"  It sounds like John.

     "Well I think it means you best find another guitarist," Anthony says menacingly.  I slide open the window.  The whole Jam Band is there.

     "Hey, Annie," Tom says.  Anthony and John don't look away from each other.  Tom looks upset.  Pudge seems worried.

     "Hi everyone!" I say cheerily.  John looks at me, annoyed.  "What's goin' on?"

     "Your boyfriend is bein' a fuckin' ass," John says.

    I take a step forward.  "Okay, first," I say, "he's not my boyfriend.  Second, he's... Well, actually Anthony, you can be an ass sometimes."  He looks at me in shock.  "I mean that in the nicest way possible."  I catch Tom's grin before he can hide it.  Just like me to break up a fight.  "Why don't you talk like at least semi-civilized people?"

     "Fuck that, man!" John says loudly.  "He's trying quit–that'll break up the whole fuckin' band!"

     Mary, in the kitchen, has ears like no other.  "Watch your language in there, boys!"

     "Calm down!" I yell at precisely the same time.  John seems taken aback.  "You guys'll find another guitarist in no time!  All you gotta do is cruise through downtown and the bars!"

     "Not that simple, baby!" John says.  "He's quitting too!  So is he!"  John points to first Tom then Pudge.  Tom looks apologetic.

     "So find a band that needs a singer!" I say like he's stupid.  I don't like John that much.

 --

That night, I didn't sneak over to Anthony's.  He's probably too busy packing anyway.  I showered and went to bed early, calling Janet once I was comfortable.  Even though she's sometimes a pain (especially that night when she made me kiss Anthony), I can tell her anything... That is, anything I don't want to tell Anthony.

     "Hello?" Janet asks.  She sounds like she was laughing.

     "Janet?" I say doubtfully.

     "Annie!  I haven't heard from you in forever!  What's going on?" she exclaims.  I hear more muffled laughter.

     "Uh, I'd like to ask you the same question," I say, wondering what's going on.

     "Oh, it's... It's–" Janet gasps, "It's nothing– James!" she suddenly giggles. "Stop it!"

     Insert various laughing noises and shouts here.  "Is this a bad time?" I ask.

     "No!  No, no.  James was saying goodbye," Janet exclaims.  Pretty funny way of saying goodbye if you ask me.  I wonder what it's like to be loved like that.  I hear the smack of a kiss, and then more kisses.  I clear my throat, a little sickened.  "Oh, right..." Janet mutters.  Then the muffled sound of a door shutting.  I hear the springs of Janet's bed creak as she plops down on her bed.  "So what's going on?  Nervous for the first day of the last year?"  She laughs breathlessly.

     "No, it's not that..."  I trail off, not catching her sarcasm.

     "Thinkin' about your boyfriend?" she says teasingly.