No More No More

Stairway to... The Third Floor

Why does this keep happening to me?  I need to stop getting involved with rockstars.  It always ends in a heartbreak.  First is was Steven, then it was Joe.  God, I'm an idiot.  I convinced myself once that I knew it was going to happen, but I fucking let it happen again.  They want bigger and better, I've said it before.  Plus, how could I think that he was done with Elyssa?  Who would want to be done with Elyssa?  She's gorgeous!  And that's coming from me: the girl that got cheated because of her!

        "There's nothing to explain," Joe says simply.  "I told you we were done and that's it."

        "Then why is she here?" I ask weakly.

        Joe looks confused.  "I dunno..."

        I scowl.  "Did you actually tell her 'we're done'?"

     Joe thinks about it for a minute, then nods.  "Yeah, at that show awhile ago I saw her with that bastard from the opener band...and then the guitarist too.  After the show I went up to her and told her."

        I try to think of a reason why she would be here, but I can't think of–wait. In December when I went to my parents' house.  I came back and fell asleep and when I woke up that morning I found out Steven was not hopelessly mine without question.  That was the morning that Joe was sleeping–well, passed out–on the couch with Elyssa.

        "Wait," I say slowly.  "What about when... In December?"

        Joe sighs.  "Yeah... December.  But that doesn't count."

        "Doesn't count?" I say, bewildered.  "You don't remember it so it doesn't count?"

        Joe nods, as if the answer were obvious.  "Yeah..."

        I throw my hands in the air.  "So it doesn't count," I repeat in exasperation.

        "That's what I'm saying..."

        "Jesus," I mutter.  Suddenly I'm mad.  Very, very mad.  "Did you ever happen to wonder how this effects anyone other than yourself?  Did you ever happen to think how this'll make Elyssa feel? How I feel right now?!  How I felt when she walked through the door this morning, thinking you were still together?"

        Joe looks at his toes and mutters, "No."

        "Of course you didn't."  I take a step closer, he steps back.  "Because you're all the same."  I take another step forward, pointing a finger and poking him in the chest.  He steps back again.  "You only think about yourself and you don't care what happens after you leave the venue.  You don't give a god damn fuck what happens.  None of you do.  You really wanna live the rest of your life getting drunk, playing shows, fucking girls and getting stoned?"  I had taken several steps more, he had taken steps back.

        His eyes flared when I said that last thing.  Now it's his turn to step forward.  "Are you fucking kidding me, Annie?" he says lowly with a deadly anger.  "People make bad decisions.  Don't act like you haven't.  Do you want me to bring up awhile ago when you were still with Steven... and me?  Do you think that didn't bother me?  Do you think I was just okay with it all?  I was a good fuck when the time came; a stupid fuck to think you actually loved me, but a good fuck nonetheless.  Do you want me to bring that up?"

        I blink in shock, taking in air sharply.  "Don't you ever say that ever!" I yell, shoving him back, tears forming in my eyes.

        "Then stop fucking assuming things and believe me already!" he says loudly.