No More No More

Don't Go There

Joe stays outside with me until I stop crying.  He goes back inside, asking me if I'd like to join him.  I merely shake my head and wipe my drying tears.

     The door didn't latch and the walls aren't sound proof.  I can hear almost everything.  "Where's Annie?" Steven asked.  I bit my lip, refusing to cry again.

     "Does it matter?" Joe retorted, his voice farther away than Steven's.

     "Who's Annie?" a girl's voice asks.

     "What?" Steven asks.

     "What?" the girl says.  Then she says, "Mmm..."  No doubt they're kissing.  I taste blood because I'm biting my lip so hard.

     "Julia!" Joey yells, clapping his hands together.  Tom chuckles.  "Do you want breakfast?"

     "Huh?  Oh, yeah."  It was the girl kissing Steven.

     "Do you... Uh, do you want some breakfast?" Joey asks someone else.

     Tom, Brad, and Steven laugh.  "Jayme," a second girl says, annoyed.  "And no, I should be going."

     "Hey, sorry!" Joey says defensively.  Steven, Tom, and Brad laugh again.  "I was stoned and drunk!  Did you even care to tell me your name?"  Jayme doesn't respond and I hear some banging in the kitchen.  Joey's making breakfast.  He doesn't make any joke about pancakes and olive oil to Julia.  I bite down on my lip but tears still form in my eyes again.

     The door opens slowly again, and Joe joins me, followed by Elyssa and the girl named Jayme.  Elyssa and Jayme wave goodbye to Joe and me, walking down the stairs.  Joe holds a bag in one hand and offers the other hand to me.  I just stare at it.

     "You can't live in the hallway, Annie," he says, annoyance lining his words.  I sniff and a few tears escape, hurt by the tone of his voice.  He sighs and runs his free hand through his hair.  "Sorry," he says, "it's not you."

     He offers his hand to me again and I take it.  He helps me up.

    I certainly don't want to go back inside.  No way no how.  Joe brought out a pair of shoes for me; I slide them on.

   Joe leads me down the stairs and outside into the cold, snowy morning.  "Where're we going?" I ask.  Joe starts his car (oh, Joe and Steven both have cars now.  Money is a nice thing to have) and we step inside.

    "Not entirely sure yet," he said, turning the heat to full blast.  "I'm assuming you don't want to stay there tonight?" he points to the apartment.  I shake my head, refusing to cry.  "We'll find a hotel or something."

 --

We find a cheap hotel.  Each room only has one bed so we each get separate rooms.  I spend the day in my room––I'm not sure what Joe does––curled in the bed.  I didn't feel like doing much of anything else.  I took part in the complementary booze at the bar.  Jack Daniels and shots to drain the pain.  Lines of coke too.  By the time I stumbled back to my room, I was laughing with tears falling from my eyes.  I was a wreck.  Well, more of a wreck.

      I ran in to Joe on my way back to the room... Literally, we almost fell over.  "Annie?"  He sounded confused.  "What're you doing?"

     "Going sleepy," I giggle drunkenly.

     "Why don't you come inside?" he says, catching on that I'm drunk and delirious and should not be alone.  I follow him into the tiny room and sit down next to him on the bed, playing with his hair.  "Why?" he mutters.