Rise

Chapter 25

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The two hardest things to say in life

are hello for the first time

and goodbye for the last.

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Ramala is still lying exactly where I'd left her; behind a collection of crates, out of the line of fire.

I get on my knees beside of her, my hands shaking, my tears burning my eyes. I'm still suffering shock--shock from Ramala getting shot, shock from fighting and killing Stephan.

So much was happening at once.

But now, as I kneel beside Ramala, I feel like we're in a bubble. A time bubble that's somewhat "paused" life around us.

Han gets down beside me, and I see him digging into his bag, rummaging around for bandages. He's shivering a bit, and I can tell that he, too, is shaken up.

I look down at Ramala, meeting her gaze, desperately grabbing her hand in mine. "I killed him, Ray. I killed the man that hurt you," I stare down at her face, letting out a quivering breath. "You're okay now. We--we can save you."

She gazes up at me, and I notice blood dribbling out of her mouth and down her chin. I wipe away the blood with my thumb, sniffling and trying my best not to turn into a sobbing mess.

Ramala shakes her head, only slightly. "El, there's--there's no saving me. I'm dying, El--" and I suddenly see tears forming in her eyes; the tears roll fast down her face and she's whimpering.

"I h--had so many plans. I wanted to see the galaxy--I wanted to do something great, I wanted to be important..." Ramala's chewing her lip, and she closes her eyes. I notice her wince with pain as she sighs.

"You can still do that, Ray, just stay with me," I'm gripping her hand desperately, hoping, wishing that there was a way that she could live.

"My story ends here, Ellie." Ray stammers, looking at me once more. I can see how much this is all hurting her; physically and emotionally. She'd wanted so much, and here she was, dying.

I grit my teeth, swallowing a cry of grief. "Why--why did you take that bullet for me?" I ask her, my voice coming out in a hollow tone. My heart hurts; it feels as if it's slowly cracking and breaking.

"Because your story isn't finished. I can see that you..." Ramala coughs, and I notice flecks of blood go past her lips. My stomach roils.

"I can see that you are meant for so much more than I was. You're going to change everything, El, I know you will." her gaze is boring into mine, and I'm trying desperately to make sense of what she's saying. "You're a survivor, and if you just keep being brave, then you'll do great things. You'll do things I never could have." and as she's speaking these words to me, I don't try and push against the idea that I was meant for something bigger. Everyone else has been telling me these things, but it isn't until now that I realize that it may be true: I could be meant for more.

I nod, tears still running down my face. I don't want to lose Ramala. I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to.

But I know, now, that she's long past the point of saving.

Feeling her hand hold mine tighter, I glance back at her, and she's still looking at me. "El, please don't--please don't let my death destroy you. Don't f--fall apart," Ray takes a shuddering, sick-sounding breath, "You killed Stephan, and you got your revenge. So revel in that victory, instead of my death, okay?"

Though I know that I will always be upset over her death, I understand what she's saying.

Don't become the old Ellie.

It would be hard, getting over Ramala's death. I'm having trouble accepting what's happening now--but, given what I've been through, there might be a chance that I'll make it.

I look at Han, who's crouched beside me, watching us both with a saddened, solemn face. I look at him and think of him, Luke, and Leia.

Thinking of them, I know that I'll make it. Someway, somehow.

Turning back to Ramala, I nod quietly. "I understand." my voice comes out as a hoarse, raw whisper; and I can see, from the way she's holding herself, that Ramala's almost gone.

Holding her hand tighter, I feel my lip trembling and I don't try to stop it. "I never got to tell you all of my adventures..." trailing off, I almost choke on the growing hole in my throat. But I must say as much as I can, before I lose her.

"Thank you so much, Ramala, for everything you--for everything you did for me. You were there for me when--when no one else was, and I am forever grateful." I allow a small sob to escape me, and I struggle to keep from letting more sobs follow.

Ramala smiles faintly at me, and she's holding my hand tight, looking at me with a strangely knowing, wise-looking expression in her eye.

And slowly, her eyes close, and I feel her hand go slack in mine.

I let go of her abruptly, letting out a choked noise, and I put a hand on the area where my heart is; for the pain I feel is almost unbearable. I close my eyes tight, feeling tears rushing down my face, and I let out a heavy, trembling sigh.

The sounds of the battlefield around me, Han, and Ramala's body makes me open my eyes, and I hear the rest of the rebels. I hear them shouting that the cargo ships are here, and we can finally escape, back to Hoth.

Hoth. The Rebel Base. Home.

I look back at Ramala, and feel a pang in my chest at the thought that she'll never be able to see the base on Hoth. How she'll never get to laugh with me, Luke, and Leia.

But I cannot allow myself to dwell on this. I see her body and, though it's all I can do to keep from wailing, I can't help but feel somewhat satisfied.

Not satisfied at her death, but satisfied by the fact that she will be the last person I'll ever lose to Stephan.

The thought, though sad and forlorn, fills me with a solemn peace, and I shakily get to my feet, letting out a deep breath. "Let's go," I murmur to Han, who's standing beside me, ready to help.

He nods silently, and follows me as I walk forward, towards the rebel cargo ships. All of the other rebels are crowding into the ships, bloody, but not beaten.

I feel as if I'm made of glass, and if one more thing hits me, I'll surely shatter.

But I'm not glass, I think as I step onto the ship and wipe away my tears.

I am titanium, and I am unbreakable. 

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This chapter's a bit shorter than the others; it's all sad and depressing now, but it gets better, I swear!

I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far; thank you all for your continued support in "Rise"! It means so much to know that people actually read this!

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