Unrestricted Literature

16

You're proud of me? You're fucking proud of me? You asshole! Branching out to them first and going to me last. Pointing out their accomplishments and barely acknowledging mine. I hate this. But I love you. So how is it any fair huh? You've cut all ties with my "dark world" do you see anything better? Do I seem less depressed to you? Do you understand that having my phone helped me to write my fucking feelings of regrets. I regret listening to myself. I regret feeling even an ounce of confidence. Again, without a purpose, I lose worth. Without worth, I lose hope. So what now? You're supporting my art career? Thinking that'll cheer me up. DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT ANYTHING I'VE EVER DONE CAN BE EASILY DONE BY ANYONE ELSE? You will never the feeling of abandonment and hate. You have everything. Your fucking family. You work for the big four? Your coworkers love you? I guess they can't hear how fake you are huh? You always say that you hate drama. You always tell me to get good grades. Even so? Not enough. I have to be "good" at art too. You're a fucking bitch. Did you even notice how I haven't been talking like much at all? Or do you think that's just the way I am? Why did you define me from my gadgets huh? What would you do if I defined you by your work you fucking workaholic. The only reason why you even stayed in the goddamn big four company is to fucking boast about yourself. And if you can't boast about me, then why do I even matter huh? I know you talk about me behind my back. I know you think I'm a fucking disappointment! Well thanks! I know! Trust me! You think my life is so easy! You think I'm fucking given everything huh? No! Sure I get the materials, but do I get the care? Do I get even the slightest bit of sympathy? No. It's always about you! "You're a lot meaner when you have your phone." "Yeah he's right listen to him!" YEAH BECAUSE IM NOT HURT AS IS YOU FUCKING INSENSITIVE BITCH! You don't care about your children! You care about what your children have done only to make yourself look good! You're so selfish and ruthless! You called me lazy and unmotivated! MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE ALL YOU FUCKING DO IS BRING ME DOWN AND REMIND ME HOW BAD OF A PERSON I WAS! You tell me I can't fucking rely on pills forever! And I'm not! Once I'm out of that damn house, I'll make you suffer! I'll bring the wrath that you've drilled into my head! You're not loving. Not even one bit.