Light em' up // Eren x reader

18

-EDITED-

(Y/n) Ackerman

I stood outside the doors of the Mess Hall, where Levi, his squad, Eren, and Hanji were in. Levi told me I should attend the meeting with him since I was involved in the incident, but I refused. Eren was the last person I wanted to see.

I sat myself on the ground and listened to their conversations. They explained that Eren had to have a goal in mind to transform, and Levi's squad apologized for being harsh. It fell silent for a couple of seconds before Gunther began spilling curses. Who knows what they did.

I sighed and laid my head on my knees. The new soldiers should be coming in soon. I have yet to find out who my roommate is. Hopefully it's not some brat. I wonder who's joining from the 104.

I heard Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie would be leaving for the MP, and I sure the rest would too. As much as I hated the MP, it was the safest place for all my friends. That or the Garrison. A small smile crept onto my face as I thought about my two best friends. It would be great if Jean and Marco joined the Survey Corps. We could train together, have fun on our free days, keep each other alive...

The once bright thoughts and smile faded as I recalled my previous memories of Trost, the reason I was so angry with Eren. Stop living in a false reality. Marco's dead. Stop telling yourself that he's alive.

I stood up and slapped my cheeks a couple of times to regain somewhat color. I walked back to my room and prepared for bed. I never asked Marco to promise me.. that he'd come back alive.

-

The day had come for the new cadets to come in. All my friends had joined the Survey Corps, the exception being Annie. I greeted everyone along with Eren, but quickly left when Jean mentioned Marco.

Levi assigned me to clean the stables with Eren. Eren was shoveling horse shit while I groomed the horses. It was complete silence. The only noise was metal hitting cement and the quite neighs of the horses.

"Why are you acting so distant." Eren asked. I froze and turned to look at him.

"It shouldn't concern you." I said blandly.

Eren leaned his shovel on the wall and walked towards me with his arms crossed. "Well it does. Your my friend and I need to help you." He said. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"Just shut up and get back to work." I said before turning around. Before I could grab the horses brush, Eren grabbed my wrist, forcing me to turn around.

"Let go!" I yelled at him. Eren shook his head.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." He said sternly. I kicked his shin, making him fall towards the ground. I crawled on top of him, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and sent a punch to his right cheek.

"I hate you! You hear me!? Because of you Marco's dead! He's dead! Why couldn't you plug the hole faster!? Why couldn't you save him!?" I cried out. I continued to beat up his face and chest. Eren simply looked at me with a calm, bruised up, face.

"I hate you goddamnit! Why aren't you fighting back!? You're suppose to hate me!" I yelled. Eren stayed quite.

"Why couldn't you save him.. why couldn't I save him." I said softly. Angry tears began to fall down my face as I clenched my teeth.

Eren sat up from below me and hugged me tightly. "I could've saved them. I was a coward. I'm so sorry Eren.. it's n-not your fault. T-there's no way you could've known." I cried.

"I know how you feel. I felt the same when my home was destroyed. When mom... was killed." He said. I quickly wiped my eyes. Eren had a sad look on his face. I frowned and quickly hugged him.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. I heard him mumble something but I didn't know what.

"Let's get going. Dinner should be ready." Eren said as he stood up. I stood as well and dusted myself off.

We walked towards the Mess Hall, cracking some jokes in order to lighten the mood and forget the previous events.

Eren Jeager

"I am too. I'm sorry (y/n), Marco.."