Autompne

seven

SEVEN

I'd been going to the hospital a lot more but I didn't mind it at all because whenever I'd come in for an MRI or a blood test, I'd hang out with Autumn. Oddly, my mother let me—even long after my appointments were over. I guess she wanted me to make friends; even if it meant I was friends with someone from the hospital.

I was more excited to go to the hospital that day because Autumn and I were going to finally have our first date. It wasn't going to be a big thing because Autumn still had to stay at the hospital; her doctor wouldn't even let her leave for an hour or two. We decided we were going to go to the cafeteria and have dinner like the couple we saw in that one movie we watched together—candle lights, fancy food and fancy clothes. I had to admit, I looked weird in a suit as I walking to the cafeteria but I didn't care. People were going to have to deal with it.

We asked one of the workers at the cafeteria to help us and she was more than happy to. She actually knew Autumn and well, I guess she was happy that Autumn was going on her first date. She prepared the candles, the table and she'd said that she was going to dress up as a waitress. She wanted us to feel like normal people and it made my heart warm up.

Autumn was hospitalized because her heart was failing—just like Freddie's. Freddie's been waiting for a year while Autumn's been only waiting for a few months. If Freddie and Autumn were both equally in need for the donor heart, Freddie would get it first because he's been waiting longer. It sucked because I cared about both of them and I wanted both of them to get a heart at the same time.

Autumn suddenly walked into the cafeteria and my eyes snapped to her. Nobody turned to look at her beauty and that was what I loved the most. It was almost like she was my little secret. She was mine—well, not yet. She wore an immaculate velvet dress with black flats.  When she noticed me, she walked slowly to the table. As cliché as it sounds, I got up and pulled out her seat for her. Her cheeks turned red as she sat down. I went over to the other side of the table where my seat was and sat as well.

"You look beautiful," I smiled. She blushed once again. Cute.

"I'm sorry that we have to do this at a hospital cafeteria but—"

"Don't be sorry," I cut her off. "I don't mind this."

We both stayed silent and then a few minutes later, our food came. Mindy—the girl who'd agreed to be our waitress—placed two plates filled with food in front of both Autumn and me. When she left, Autumn spoke up.

"I've never been on a date and I don't know how these things usually go," she paused. "And oh my god, I'm ruining it by babbling. I'm so sorry I'm not used to th—"

I touched her hand and the words died in her mouth. My eyes caught hers and we both fell in silence. "I just don't want to mess this up," she whispered.

"Oh, believe me Autumn," I began. "There is no way in hell you'd ever be able to mess this up."

Because I was already in too deep. I knew bits and pieces about her and maybe I didn't know her whole story, but truth be told—I was utterly infatuated with her.

 

**

 

I knocked softly on Jessica's door, fearing that she'd be asleep. It was a little bit after ten and I'd just dropped Autumn off at her hospital room. The date was perfect, to say the least, and I didn't feel like going home. I wanted to stay where it all happened—the hospital. I wanted to tell someone. I wanted to let my feelings out and Jessica was the first person that came to mind.

I heard a little sound coming from the other side of the room and then Jessica's voice saying 'who's there' with a little bit of fear in it. I told her that it was me and she seemed to immediately calm down and then told me to come in. I stepped into her room and took a seat next to her bed.

"Why are you here so late?" she asked, "Did you have an appointment or something?"

Or something.

"I was on a date with a girl," I smiled, a little bit shocked that I was saying those words aloud.

"Who's that lucky girl?" She laughed.

"Her name is Autumn,"

"Autumn Winters?" she asked in a knowing tone and I nodded. "Isn't it funny? Her first name is Autumn and her last name is Winters."

"I really like her, Jess," I whispered, not at all humored. Although when I first found out, I did actually find it funny.

"Then why do you sound so scared and so—so unnerved?" she asked, sitting up.

I was suddenly scared because it seemed real. Everything seemed real when you said it out loud. Wasn't it always easy for guys to like girls? Isn't that how it went? So why did I find it so hard?

"I think," I paused, thinking a little. "I think what scares me the most is how disposable I am."

It was true. I was disposable. Anyone—including Autumn—could forget about me after I die. They'd move on with their lives so easily. It was scary how someone could just disappear. How people could forget about them and there would be no way to tell if that person ever existed. They'd merely remember you if they ever happen to come across a person with the same name, or a short note, and then they'd say 'what a shame, the good die young' and then they'd forget you again. It baffled me greatly how people seemed to think and do things. The little things, too, like how people brush their teeth before eating, how some people smile or even laugh when they are upset just to try and hide it and how people cry whenever something good happens to them. It all worked backwards and sometimes I was glad I wasn't going to live for long.

I was disposable.

**

Sorry for taking so long to upload. There was a problem with the prompts and then I started midterms so yeah, there's that. I'll try to upload daily again and I'm sorry for messing up this entire challenge. I'm upset that I couldn't keep up but I will try to complete the challenge regardless.

Thank you for 1k reads. I don't even know what to say, y'all are awesome!

P.S: I'm also sorry for being so incredibly cliché. It won't happen again.